1) The new Nirvana video on “Total Request Live.” Artsweek in Times Square sez, “Omigod, we totally want to dedicate this to our exes, ’cause we wish they were dead too! Yay!”

2) People Who Aren’t Into the MLB Championship Series. Cross-indexed under “People Who Hate Puppies and Kittens.”

3) Stalking Lorenzo Lamas. The only reason Artsweek doesn’t have a restraining order of our own is that he doesn’t yet know just… how… far… we’ll… go.

4) The timelessness of the John Turturro Drinking Game. The rules for all of you playing along at home: Every time you see John Turturro in anything, get drunk.

5) Getting thrown out of Brookstone because there’s no Sharper Image to play in. Sort of like doing Sudafed at a rave.