Francisco Torres, UCSB’s molested stepchild that’s been touched in all the wrong places, may finally become a part of the university-owned residence hall family.
UCSB bid on the towers twice before, once in 1988 and again in 1999, but the bids came in too low for College Park, the current owners. Now, the price seems just enough to get FT into the family Christmas photos next year.
The university’s acquisition of FT is just another step in its long-term development plan to fit 35 percent of the UCSB population in campus housing. Manzanita Village and the planned San Clemente graduate housing set to devour part of Storke Field are also part of the plan.
It’s about time that UCSB ended its half-assed mooching. Bringing FT under the full reins of the university would hopefully clean up the ejaculate-stained rugs and puke-encrusted couches. The secretive, foul-smelling structure might turn into something respectable.
Students living in FT would also fall under UCSB’s full jurisdiction, coming now under the watchful eye of Housing and Residential Services, facing stricter regulations and enforcement concerning alcohol and general heathen behavior.
UCSB cries injustice every time a newspaper or magazine uses FT to screw the university or Isla Vista. With the deal, the university would be able to do something about it besides distracting worried parents with Nobel Prize winners and admissions statistics.
The possible deal also leaves the fate of the Santa Barbara City College students living in FT in question. UCSB should close the doors to everyone but university students after tenants vacate for the summer. We have our own housing crunch to worry about, and UC Merced isn’t going to do much to alleviate the pressure.
If UCSB students in FT want to sully the school’s good name, fine. We shouldn’t have to take flak from city college students who can’t keep their hands and other dirty appendages to themselves.
The jobs of FT’s staff are also in question and its past track record doesn’t bode well for its future. A new, university trained crew might just be what FT needs. No more slip ‘n’ slides in the hallways. No more hot boxing rooms with the RAs.
The purchase is a smart business move on the university’s part. Even if the university has to hire a whole new staff and a fleet of jizz moppers to come in and clean up, it’ll still come out ahead. FT comes with a lot of land and a lot of space, great for bringing in extra money either through the noses of college students or from pompom-wielding high schoolers.
We hope you make it to the family, FT. We’re sure there’s a winner under the stains and mold.
