Miss Isla Vista 2002

Sunday, September 15, 1:25 a.m.: Isla Vista Foot Patrol officers patrolling the corner of Camino Pescadero at Sabado Tarde Road observed a 19-year-old female staggering northbound in the middle of the roadway.

The officers also observed that no one was with the female and the street was empty. As the suspect approached, the officers noticed she was having difficulty maintaining her balance and was staggering from side to side. The suspect’s pants, jacket and hands were very dirty, indicating she had already fallen on the ground that evening.

The officers contacted the suspect and escorted her to the curb, where they asked her to be seated. The officers asked her for her identification; however, she said she did not have any on her. The officers noticed a bulge in her jacket’s right pocket. Thinking it might be the suspect’s wallet, the officers asked her what was in her pocket.

The suspect reached into her pocket, pulled out a Budweiser beer, handed it to the officers and said, “Here, this is for you.” The suspect was unable to answer simple questions as to her whereabouts and her actions. The suspect also provided false identification to the officers.

Once the suspect was arrested for public intoxication and transported back to the IVFP station to complete the booking process, she refused to answer any questions. The suspect also became verbally abusive toward officers. The suspect made comments about being tied up and sexually assaulted by the officers, and stated that she was going to call her lawyer and sue the department and the officers.

The suspect, along with other arrestees, was transported to the Santa Barbara County Jail. While en route, the suspect continued to make comments; the other arrestees asked her to keep quiet. While at the jail, the suspect was put into an isolation tank due to her bad attitude and general inability to play nice with others.

Two Vomits in a Bucket, Mother *^@$#%

Tuesday, September 3, 3:55 a.m.: IVFP officers patrolling the 6500 block of Pardall Road observed an 18-year-old male being held up and escorted by two female subjects. One of the females looked over her shoulder and saw the officers behind them.

The two females took their arms from around the suspect’s waist, at which point the suspect began to walk faster than the two females. The officers noticed the suspect was stumbling from side to side and almost fell into a row of bushes lining Giovanni’s.

The officers contacted the suspect and asked if he had been drinking; he responded that he had. When asked how much he had to drink, the suspect stated, “Too much.” When asked where he was going, the suspect said home. When asked where home was, the suspect said, “Palm Desert.”

The suspect was arrested for public intoxication and escorted to the IVFP office. When the suspect sat down, the officers noticed the suspect began to lose color in his face. The officers asked the suspect if he was OK, and he said he wasn’t feeling well. When the officers asked if he was going to be sick, the suspect answered yes.

The officers gave the suspect a bucket, which he vomited into several times. When the suspect was finished, he stated, “I hate these Santa Barbara nights.” The suspect then told the officers he was ready for the drive to jail.

When you’re ready to go to the drunk tank, maybe you’re also ready for a twelve-step program.

Smooth Operator

Thursday, September 12, 12:47 a.m.: IVFP officers responded to a citizen complaint about loud subjects. Upon arrival, the officers noticed loud voices and music at the residence. A 22-year-old male suspect was lying on a futon in the grass. The officers noticed the suspect reach out and grab a female’s buttocks.

The female screamed and evaded the suspect, whom the officers approached quickly. He told the officers he lived in Goleta and had driven to the party. When the officers asked the suspect about the female that he had grabbed, the suspect said, “What girl? I’m faded.”

We’ll see who’s copping a feel in the county jail.

-Compiled by Jennifer B. Siverts at the Isla Vista Foot Patrol office.