I’m not moving this summer.

There. I’ve lost half of your sympathies. All of my stuff will remain in place, collecting Isla Vista dust for another year. Instead, my house is a depository for all my friends’ things – they’re all moving, you see. It’s something like living in a warehouse and now, after having moved the last two summers, I think I can sympathize with people on both sides of the situation.

Everyone has lost a few things while moving. I’ve got a variety of books and a few CDs that I’ve lost track of. When we moved into our current apartment, we were greeted with some bungee cords and a stack of cinder blocks. Admittedly I would have left them there too. They’ll all be here long after I’m gone.

Keys, wallets, and cellular phones are among the most common lost move-out items at most universities and UCLA’s lost-and-found recently got a call from a student concerning a lost red-tailed parrot named Chocko.

An urban archaeological dig revealed that when the Tabasco company moved from its original factory on Avery Island in Louisiana, it left behind bullets, buttons, shotgun shell casings, lead shot, fishing hooks, alligator teeth, glassware, glazed pottery, porcelain, china, fragments of a clay pipe, a doorknob and the remains of a giant prehistoric sloth (Tabasco founder, Edmund McIlhenny had a natural history fetish). It’s nice to know there are people more absent-minded than you or me.

If you want more comparisons, you can try browsing around at www.internetlostandfound.com.

I’d like to say I’ll miss my neighbors – though their stuff may still be here. All of them anyway, except the sorority senior-house that cranked their stereo and screamed drunkenly until two in the morning every Thursday night.

Oh, and the jerks down the street who regularly set off bottle rockets at 3 a.m.

And the two horrible garage bands that played on either side of our house.

Okay, so I have my share of enemies. But the rest of you were delightful and I’ll miss the smiles, the late-night conversations and the random trips we took. It was a wonderful year.

For those of you who were quiet and never bothered anyone, thanks to you too. I rest assured that you’re either very nice people or closet serial killers and since you’re moving I don’t really care which. In either case, it was nice knowing you.

I wish the best of luck to everyone who is moving. At the very least, it’s a wonderful time of year to do it. The weather is beautiful and people are always in the best of moods this time of year, myself included. If you stop me on the street, I’ll probably haul a couch for you.

Have a nice summer and I’ll see you around.

Josh Braun is the Daily Nexus science editor. Actually, science and technology editor. No, make that science, technology, health and environment editor. His newfound complacency on the opinion page is merely a defense mechanism to an exponentially multiplying workload and no assistant editors. His column, “Red Tape,” went out with a bang this year. The summer issue is merely the whimpering echo of excellence. He’ll see you next year after some counseling.