Why Don’t We Do It On The Hood Of A Squad Car?

At approximately 3:30 a.m. on Saturday, May 11 deputies at the Isla Vista Foot Patrol station observed a 19-year old female straddling a 20-year-old male on the bench across from the station in front of Grafikart, on the 6500 block of Pardall Road.

The officers saw that the male suspect was holding the female’s skirt up over her waist. The female suspect had no panties on, and her bare buttocks were exposed.

Upon contacting the suspects, the deputies noticed the male suspect “had a wet spot on the front of his pants at the crotch area and there was a small puddle on the cement as if someone had urinated.”

The suspects informed the deputies that they did not know each other and had just met in the street earlier that evening.

Both suspects were arrested for public intoxication and transported to Santa Barbara County Jail where they were housed pending sobriety.

Caution: Wet Floors

At approximately 9:30 p.m. Thursday, May 9 the IVFP received a phone call from a Francisco Torres Resident Assistant who said that he was detaining an 18-year-old male suspect for urinating in the 4th floor Southwest Access stairwell.

Upon arrival, the R.A. informed the deputies that the suspect was “walking around” while urinating and spreading his urine around the stairwell.

The suspect told the officers that, although he did have his hands on his penis, he was throwing up in the stairwell. The suspect told the officers that he was not urinating and he was not planning on urinating.

Upon inspecting the stairwell, deputies noticed urine on the walls and a pool of urine on the floor.

The suspect received a Urinating in Public ticket and was escorted off the residence by deputies and told not to return.

How Not To Address Police Officers

At approximately 11:29 p.m. Friday, May 10 IVFP deputies patrolling the 6600 block of Sabado Tarde Road observed a 19-year-old female lying down in the back of a car.

The deputies approached the car and shook the suspect to get her attention. The suspect sat up and told the officers “Get the fuck away from me.”

When asked by the officers to sit up, the suspect replied, “Get the fuck out of here and leave me alone.”

The deputies asked the suspect to get out of the car. After exiting the vehicle, the suspect attempted to stand but lost her balance and fell backwards. Deputies told the suspect to sit on the curb, where she proceeded to fall backwards onto the sidewalk. She told the deputies the only reason she fell was because she just woke up.

The suspect informed the deputies, “I was just sitting in my car so I didn’t have to do anything bad.”

While at the Foot Patrol Station, the suspect became verbally abusive to the deputies. She said, “My father’s a lawyer. He’s gotten thousands of people out of things like this, and he’ll get me out of this too.”

The suspect was arrested for public intoxication and transported to Santa Barbara County Jail where she was housed pending sobriety.

– compiled by Rebecca Turek and Kevin Cica