Paraplegic soccer matches rivet more people than local news this time of year. So when Carrot Top suggested we go fuck ourselves, we relaxed, let him rant, and made sure the tape was rolling.

Then he cancelled his Santa Barbara show. Darn.

On behalf of Artsweek and everyone at the Daily Nexus, the WeatherHuman humbly thanks Mr. Top.

Cuss words make our job so easy.

Thursday’s forecast: Saved Town Rejoices Top-less!