Webmaster’s Note: Listen to Carrot Top tell the Nexus “Go fuck yourself.”

Special thanks to Keith Rozendal and KCSB for their help.

In which your Artsweek heroes sap a 33-year-old prop comic’s will to live, he tells us to go fuck ourselves and cancels his Santa Barbara performance. According to Scott “Carrot Top” Thompson’s PR flack, Stacie, we’ll “never work in journalism again.”

Q: Now, I’ve gotta tell you, just to get over my own nervousness, the last guy I interviewed for our arts magazine, uh, died.

A: He died?

Q: Pretty soon after, yeah.

A: Well, uh, who was that?

Q: Douglas Adams.

A: What happened to him.

Q: Croaked. Had a heart attack at the gym.

A: And you know, I was going to go to the gym after this. So that’s out, no more working out.

Q: Oh come on, it would lend some poignancy to my interview.

A: God almighty, well thanks, I’ll drive safely today. Take my time, be aware.

Q: What are you bringing to Santa Barbara?

A: A bunch of hate mail covered in Anthrax.

Q: Oh. Good.

Q: Describe the set.

A: It’s like a big rock ‘n’ roll kinda look, it’s very metal-like. I was just telling a guy it’s like Kiss. People always say my show’s rock ‘n’ roll-like so I thought maybe we’ll make the set look rock ‘n’ roll. Right now, with all the metal and stuff it looks like Kiss meets Carrot Top.

Q: Are you going to try and attract any of Kiss’s groupies?

A: Well, hell yeah. Those groupies put out and you want to attract any kind of groupies that’re, you know, a little rad. Carrot Top groupies aren’t quite the same as Kiss groupies.

Q: Now, I’m guessing the AT&T commercials are, shall we say, good to you?

A: Oh yeah! Anything that gives you exposure like that is great. They’ve tested well and people seem to like ’em, otherwise we wouldn’t be doing more. But yeah, it’s always good. Any kind of exposure is good.

Q: So, you’ve been on the road for –

A: And it’s a good company. AT&T is a good company.

Q: Okay.A: So how long have I been on the road?

Q: Yeah.

A: Like 10 years maybe.

Q: Getting back to the commercial, it seems like the last two or three of ’em have all ended with you getting hit in the stomach or the crotch –

A: I don’t think I was hit in the crotch. I was hit in the shin.

Q: Okay.

A: Only one I was hit in the shin. I think the girl, yeah, kicks me in the end.

Q: A friend of mine describes that as wish fulfillment after watching the commercial.

A: Ho-what?

Q: Wish fulfillment.

A: What is that?

Q: Uh, for the audience.

A: Yeah… [pause] Well, what’d he mean?

Q: Uh, I don’t think he’s ever been a fan.

A: Yeah, see, see, that’s the whole deal. You get in this business and everybody isn’t going to dig. Think about it, there’s music, there’re people that don’t like music, there’re people that hate comics and they just hate people in general.


Q: Okay. Yeah, when I said I was doing the interview with you there were some negative reactions around the office.

A: Well, you know what, you’re always going to get that and you can tell ’em all to go fuck themselves, I don’t care. You’re not going to please everybody.

Q: So –

A: And you got that on recording, too? Good.

Q: Yes –

A: Good, let me tell ’em again, you can all go fuck yourselves. It doesn’t matter. Anytime somebody gives me shit it’s like, ‘Alright, whatever.’ You gotta just do what you do. People aren’t going to dig you, that’s a given. So, who cares?

Q: So where do you see yourself in 10 years?

A: Well, who knows? Hopefully still doing really stupid commercials that piss people off, hopefully, ’cause that would be great. It’d be fun to be like Cosby and do Jell-O. I don’t know, just do my act and do what I’ve been doing.

Q: Alright, well, I think that’ll do it –

A: Boy, that was great, thanks for cheering my day up, really.