Top Ten Instances of the Arts Proving Artistic and Entertainment Proving Entertaining in 2001

By DJ Fatkid, the naked Artsweek Staff Writer

1) Mariah Carey’s Nervous Breakdown

“You mean the hot pants, sir?” “Yarrr, the hot pants!”

2) Angelina Jolie and Billy Bob Thornton Snog at the Oscars

See Newsweek’s article “Why They Hate Us.”

3) Jimmy Eat World Makes a Boobie Video

Emo is all about boobies.

4) No One Likes David Eggers

Not even San Franciscans.

5) MTV’s “Dismissed”

Screw the ball shot – MTV’s cinematographic geniuses capture the tongue-transfer like no one else.

6) Punk Bands On the Decline Suddenly Remember They’re Punk Bands

Ian MacKaye’s mother wonders if he’ll ever get a real job.

7) Snoop Dogg’s Burgeoning Cinematic Career

Hey, Snoop, do that look where you’re so much badder than I am that it makes you want to vomit. I fucking love that look.

8) Sub Pop Records Suddenly Becomes Culturally Relevant Again

Fans of Gardener and The Evil Tambourines weep big, greasy tears.

9) T. C. Boyle’s Hair

It’s like a cross between Morrissey and Carrot Top, only less so.

10) The Food Network

Better than emo for sensitive post-adolescent straight white males, but I have a creeping feeling it all ties back into boobies.