Editor’s note: This is an e-mail that Leo Lydon sent to a friend Jan. 4, 2001. The Nexus received this letter courtesy of Mary Putnam-Lydon, his mother.

If I am not here then you are too late, I am gone and as you read this I do not want you to reflect on my last actions, but reflect upon any joy that I have brought you. I cannot say that I hope you don’t cry over me because I hope I will be missed, it seems as though my life has gone by so quickly and will have ended too abruptly, too soon, it is all my fault and I never want anyone to feel a shred of guilt, whether you truly did something to hate life or just told me to call you and not have enough time for, for a large quarrel or a petty one, this was never your doing, for now I am gone, I am lost you cannot contact me nor I you for I am resting in peace, I lay conscious no more nor do I hear see or taste anything going on, I will miss this wonderful place, but I am not afraid of where I am going and so I leave you with this

Wherever I have been, I enjoyed it, I loved everything that has happened to me for I got a chance, a chance at life, I hope you realize how special this life is, you only get it once and it is gone before you know it, so from this moment on I want you to enjoy life, every waking moment, every single move you make, any blinking eyelash, any flicker of light you have the ability to see, any music you are lucky enough to hear, there are people that are very less fortunate, such as the handicapped and others, then there are the people that never got to live, the ones who never got this chance, would they have done it better than you? Would they have done something different than you? You are not here for a purpose, but you are here, why is that not good enough? Why can’t people enjoy the fact that they are alive, they can breathe, think, talk, see, hear, understand, love, hate, fornicate, play games, sports, do this, do that …. they can live and so can you, so do it for me, do it for you, live life, for life is a chance, everything is circumstantial, there will be what ifs? But you cannot change the past, you are where you are, if your life could be happier it is not too late, the past has happened get over it, be thankful for circumstance, be thankful for chance, be thankful for your life, and make it happen.