Cinco de Mayo. Cinco de Mayo. OK, shut up.

Everyone tells me how amazing Cinco de Mayo downtown is going to be … I know the truth.

Cinco de Mayo downtown is just like any other night, except for four minor “Mexicoesque” details:

1) Long lines, like the border (but without the porcelain monkey statues)

2) Cover charges (They don’t take pesos. I’ve tried).

3) Gringo bartenders wearing sombreros (pathetic).

4) Victorino thrusting his crotch like a champion.

Friday’s Forecast: Chenga Cinco de Mayo …