Hello my lovely new readers, I’m going to skip all of the intro nonsense and get right to it: This is the Wednesday Hump, so let’s talk about sex. But let’s divest our talk of sex from the very emotional bits and the stigma that so often comes with it. For today, let’s just talk about the purely physical aspects of sex. Let’s talk about getting it on and feeling good with some other willing participant. I’m sure this is a topic most of us denizens of Isla Vista already feel perfectly comfortable with.

People can get so hung up on preconceived notions when it comes to sex. We often find themselves being irrationally scared of sexualities that are outside the norm, especially when we think of ourselves participating in such sexual acts. Undoubtedly, most of my readers will identify as straight men or women, and that’s absolutely fine. Most of you, I’m sure, also legitimately find yourselves attracted to members of the opposite sex, and again that’s fine. Let me ask you though: have you ever given any real thought to your sexual experiences with your same sex compatriots? Again it’s safe to assume that the answer most of you will have given to that question is, “No.” My legitimate yet unanswerable question is, “Why?” What is it that we as a society have decided is so repulsive about two dudes (or ladies) helping each other out a bit, maybe getting to know each other a little better? And yes, I do mean in the biblical sense.

Now all you painfully straight bro-types out there might be thinking, “Gross, dude I’d never let another guy slob my knob,” but I implore you, in the name of freethinking and getting personally acquainted with the human condition, let’s keep our minds open here, alright bro? After all, in the end the physical act of sex just amounts to stimulation of some very sensitive cells located in our nether regions and not much else. Cells don’t care about gender.

Sex has been shown to mitigate the effects of aging, reduce stress levels, relieve depression symptoms and just feel damn good. Having sex can literally bring people together, because you don’t know someone quite as well as you could until you’ve made the beast with two backs with them, right? So how can something that has the potential to be such a wonderful bonding opportunity between people have become so taboo in our society?

I read a story the other day about a gay-identifying man and a straight-identifying man who are currently in a loving romantic relationship together. The sex isn’t great for them, and there are places that the straight man isn’t willing to go just yet, but he’s working on it because he knows that sex is sex, and as long as he’s sticking it where he wants, and the other party wants to get stuck, then everything is just fine. The straight man said that his aversion to sex with his partner is in his head, and eventually he’ll be ready for it. The comments section on this oddity of a tale was abysmally depressing.

Scores of people told this individual that he was a “self-hating gay” and that he was “in denial about his own sexuality.” I think he is just a normal guy who found not only a best friend, but someone with whom he was comfortable enough with to open up in a way that the world at large might frown upon.

The moral of the story, folks? Let’s stop looking at sex as a man and a woman bumping uglies and let’s start looking at it as two humans getting as physically close with each other as can be. So next time you’re at a party perusing the wares for whatever late night encounter you’re looking for, consider what I’ve said. Who knows, maybe you’ll try something new and you’ll like it. Or maybe not. There’s always next time.

Luc Gendrot doesn’t get why people stay so stuck in their ways when they could be stuck in, well, you know …