Nexustentialism

Liberal Arts Student Puts Aside Social Justice to Enjoy Family Dinner

In recent years, the young people of the millennial generation have grown out of the warmth and comfort of their childhood holiday experiences, transitioning into the cold, harsh reality of adulthood....
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El Niño Survival Guide

As the Santa Barbara winter approaches and the much anticipated El Niño pours down on our perfect little beach city, we must prepare for something that most Californians don’t have very much expe...
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Yik Yaks at Home vs Yik Yaks in I.V.

Yik Yak is a cyber-community that shares the sexual, weird, funny or sometimes even lonely anonymous thoughts of those around you. Isla Vista is lucky in the fact that we have quite a lively community...
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Get Stuffed: A Pardoned Turkey Speaks Out

Since John F. Kennedy in 1963, each year the president has saved a turkey from becoming dinner and sent it to live out its days on a countryside farm. This merciful gesture, however, is not without co...
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Sorority Girl Forgets Uggs; Cannot Survive El Niño

These past bouts of El Niño have greatly affected the Isla Vista community. Greek Life in general has taken a major hit, resulting in the cancellation of Fratopia daygers and snappa games due to flas...
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UCSB Blood Transfusions Intoxicate Local Hospital Patients

Last Sunday, it was reported that several patients at Sunny Hills Hospital were found to have elevated BAC levels. After a thorough investigation, it was revealed that all intoxicated patients receive...
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Controversial Starbucks Cup Breaks Silence

After weeks of silence, I have decided it is time for me to make my statement. I know many of you have been waiting for this moment, so I will keep this short and to the point. Why the hell are so man...
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10 Isla Vista Commandments

Trumpeted by the thundering waves, bellowing frat boys and wailing sirens of a Friday night in Isla Vista, the great Chancellor Yang descended upon one unworthy Nexus writer to set forth a set of rule...
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A Breakup Letter to Trader Joe’s

Look, I’ve got to say something here, but don’t think this means I love you any less, because that’s just not true; my love will never change. You’ve taken me places and done things for me I d...
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The Comprehensive Roommate Breakdown

The term “roommate” is a funny one. Per the perennial linguistic powerhouse, dictionary.com, it is simply defined as, “a person who is assigned to share or shares a room or apartment with anothe...
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Twitter Threatens Male Masculinity

In case you missed it, Twitter unveiled a new way to show your appreciation of another person’s tweet this week. Instead of having the option to “favorite” a tweet with a star, you now “like...
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How To Spot An I.V. Fuckboi

  Fuckboi (n.): a male specimen who has the characteristics or tendencies of the ultimate douchebag; possibly considers himself a “meninist”; makes up for his insecurities by drinking a lot o...
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If Stars Were Really ‘Just Like Us’

I don’t know about you guys, but I’m really tired of hearing about how Selena Gomez walks with her legs or that Justin Timberlake uses paper towels to dry his hands. As someone who uses deli slice...
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Accurate Isla Vista Street Names

Instead of recognizing any cultural significance behind the beautiful names designating each unique street in this community­­­­, we’ve relabeled them all for present day accuracy. 65 Block: Bey...
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Trick or Chug: Isla Vista Edition

We all remember those thrilling, spooky, sugar-induced nights as children where we got to be whatever we wanted and would go around collecting candy just for being cute in our costumes. Those were tru...
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