My Reflection
You know when there’s a glass door, and right as you come up to it you get a look at your own reflection? Then you’re like, “Damn, that is one good-looking reflection.” Yeah, you know what I mean. Don’t deny it.
The Future of Sex
Come June 14, I will be part of the 25 percent of the student body awarded a framed piece of paper and firm handshake that translate to, “Get the fuck out.”
As this day approaches, I’m becoming increasingly terrified of the term “grown-up.” It’s a word that was thrown around liberally throughout our youth, attached to bullshit like, “This behavior won’t fly in high school” and, “You think they’ll stand for that in college?” But now, as we enter the suit-and-tie world of our parents, the young-and-stupid shtick has officially expired. Now, spray-painting the word “smegma” on an apartment rooftop will actually be frowned upon. How boring.
The Hungry Gaucho
Who am I? That’s one secret I’ll never tell, but I can tell you that I’m the Hungry Gaucho.
Valaika Makes Vicious Return
As an underclassman, a medley of injuries would force Gaucho baseball’s Matt Valaika to watch a lot of the action from the sidelines. With a competitive spirit to match the talent that made him UCSB’s starting second baseman as only a freshman, it took a toll on the junior middle infielder to play spectator for […]
UCSB To Score Fuel Cell
The leading supplier of Southern California’s electricity has chosen UCSB to serve as a guinea pig for a new sustainable energy technology.
Fight the Power, Ignore the Police
A couple of weeks ago, the Nexus published a column I wrote that offered the advice of “doing drugs instead of drinking.” (“Do Drugs Instead of Drinking,” Daily Nexus, May 12.) It was supposed to be a satirical column in response to the local government’s effort to curtail drinking by imposing specific laws for Isla Vista – like the noise ordinance and recent beach ban. I thought it would be evident to anyone with the ability to read that this was my goal when I suggested you go do a bunch of coke to keep the party going once the cops break it up at midnight. I don’t even do coke.
Armchair QB
Armchair QB
Too bad LeBron… it looks as though your buzzer beating antics were all for naught. Shame on ESPN for all that unnecessary coverage of “the shot.” Oh well, at least Mo Williams didn’t guaransheed a Game Four victory.
Fastened Valves Leave UCSB Without Water
An unexpected hour-long campus wide water outage began at 9:30 a.m. Tuesday due to a dual valve shutdown in Goleta.
Go Green With Environmental Studies Degree
If you’re a first- or second-year and still don’t know what to major in, try environmental studies. At least sit in on some talks by the pioneers in the field that the university has brought in. If you’re eager to make money and help the world, the environment will shed light on a new path for Americans in an attempt to show our world dominance once again.
Panel Talks Labor Laws
With the memory of the Santa Barbara News-Press firings still festering in the minds of many, a panel discussion was held last night to promote stricter labor laws.