I’ve Come to Reclaim Your Country On Behalf of Her Majesty, Queen of England: I Like My Muffins Puffy
You are all being lied to this very minute. Every food store that you know of is lying to you as you read this. They claim to sell “English Muffins” and “English Scones.” Now, I don’t know about you, but my definition of the word “English” goes something along the lines of IT’S ENGLISH. Somewhere […]
Reeling In Those Pesky Marlins
Every year this happens: One Major League Baseball team becomes the fodder for sports writers early in the season because of its mysteriously sparkling record.
Mind Your P’s and Vagee’s With Sexual Etiquette Rules
Have you ever struggled to figure out the most polite way to reject the offer of a threesome?
Club Promotes Cultural Awareness
This year’s Palestinian Awareness Week has not gone over as smoothly as some of its members would like.
Spygate
You know, you would think that a multi-million dollar sports team would have higher quality cameras than the ones that took those grainy Patriots “Spygate” videos. Judging by the quality, the QB is pretty sure that Matt Walsh filmed the Paris Hilton sex tape as well.
Pub Golf Leaves Grads Stroked
There are only a few more weeks left in the school year. To those graduating this June, you may be scared shitless.
County Considers Oil Tax Proposal
The Santa Barbara County Board of Supervisors unanimously agreed yesterday to research the possibility of taxing each barrel of crude oil extracted from unincorporated county land.
Horowitz Haters Keep Parading Selective Moral Outrage
On Monday night David Horowitz spoke to a packed house at Embarcadero Hall. It would be a bit of an understatement to say the event got fiery.
Former SF Mayor To Share Political Experiences
The “Real Slick Willie” – as former President Bill Clinton once called Willie L. Brown Jr. – will appear on campus tonight to discuss his four-decade long political career.
Stories From the Files of the Isla Vista Foot Patrol
Thurs., May 8, 8:56 p.m. – Residents of multiple homes on the 6600 block of Del Playa Drive called on the Isla Vista Foot Patrol to help dispose of an unwanted male who had allegedly attempted to enter a number of dwellings.