ARMCHAIIIIIIR

One day after Rasheed Wallace berated NBA officials for foul calls, Commissioner Stern announced that flops will be fines in 2009. Former Sacramento Queen Vlade Divac can’t be happy with this one, I “guaran-sheed” it.

Leaders Gather to Discuss Goleta Growth

Community leaders met at Goleta’s first annual State of the City Address yesterday to commemorate the town’s six years of cityhood.

Swap Illicit Adderall for Healthier Perks of Caffeine

Editor, Daily Nexus,

I am writing in response to the article (“SB Sees Swell in Student Abuse of Prescription Pill,” Daily Nexus, May 20), which discussed the legal consequences of un-prescribed Adderall use.

UC, Union Continue Talks, Avert Strike

As 20,000 union workers prepared to strike and the University of California filed for a restraining order legally barring the employees from walking off the job, both sides yesterday agreed to back down and return to the bargaining table.

Follow the Money Toward Alarming Pappas Funding

Editor, Daily Nexus,

I am alarmed by the Nexus article about the 3rd District supervisor candidates’ financial statements (“Farr Maintains Lead in Contributions,” Daily Nexus, May 28) and the recent Nexus endorsement of Steve Pappas.

Police Blotter

Blazing Saddles Mon., May 26, 12:03 a.m. – Deputies in a marked police car came across a truck parked in a fire lane on Seville Road. The truck was not empty, however, and before the officers could reach it, the vehicle pulled out and started heading toward campus. Unable to conduct a stop due to […]

Bearman Crusades for End to Pointless War on Drugs

Editor, Daily Nexus,

There are many reasons to vote for Dr. David Bearman for 3rd District supervisor. His views on the budgetary impact of current drug policy are just one reason.

Pointer’s Offspring Testifies to Mother’s Good Character

Editor, Daily Nexus,

In the past 25-plus years, I have grown to know Victoria Pointer in areas where many others have lacked the privilege.

Drink

The ‘Human Doesn’t Understand

I’m down to my final few days as the ‘Human – I’ll wait a moment while you wipe away that tear – so what better time to ask a very important question? How come Orbit gum comes in packs that are perfectly contoured for back pockets, but when you put them there and then eventually sit somewhere, the gum gets all juicy? It makes absolutely no sense.

Thursday’s Forecast: the ‘Human spends the day trying to recover from accidentally washing jeans with Orbit in the back pocket. You know you’ve been there…