The Spygate Saga

There is a reason I work for the Sports Desk. I don’t care about Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton, Associated Students or Open People’s Party, and frankly, I’d die of boredom if I read about any of the above for more than 10 seconds. I like my sports and politics separate, but for some reason, the politicians don’t seem to bend to my will. In lieu of the recent developments in the NFL’s Spygate saga, Washington’s meddling has taken my anger to a new level.

Magic Pesto Is Held in High Regard

Brownies are just the beginning.

We’d begin by describing them as rich and gooey gateways to the realm of other delicious magical treats, but those in power have transformed the word “gateway” into weed’s ignorant little sidekick that won’t take a flashing neon hint and go the hell away. So we’ll just preface this column by saying we’re certain Isla Vistans can produce a wider variety of potent edibles than even Jeff has managed to swallow lately. Brownies? Where we’re going, we don’t need brownies.

Funnyman John Cleese To Visit Campbell Hall

Renowned British comedian John Cleese – famous for his portrayal of Angry Frenchman and Black Knight in “Monty Python and the Holy Grail” – is appearing at UCSB tonight for “An Evening With John Cleese.”

Sin City

Hollywood is on a mission to prove that number-crunching career women lead unfulfilling lives, at least until they quit their jobs and settle down with The One. This time around, it’s Cameron Diaz who plays the emotionally stunted, successful businesswoman, with Ashton Kutcher as her slacker love interest in Tom Vaughan’s “What Happens in Vegas.” Kutcher and Diaz are initially somewhat likeable as one-note, cliché characters, but the fun stops when we’re supposed to start taking these semi-people seriously.

The Thursday Gnar: Learn to Love the Surfer Stereotype

The other day I had just gotten out of the water when something strange happened. I met a psychic. This cunning temptress of the spiritual arts was the real deal, and revealed impossible truths to me without so much as a glance at my palms. I had never seen this person before in my life, yet hours after my surf session, when I went to the sandwich shop that she was working at, she asked me simply, “How was the surf?”

Panel Provides First-Hand Insight on Iraq

On a mission to elevate the level of academic discourse by bringing first-hand insight into the discussion of the war in Iraq, the political science department is hosting an “Ask a Vet” forum. Six veterans are going to discuss their experiences serving in the U.S. military.

Public Defender Agrees to Drop Photo Subpoena

Just two days after the Daily Nexus received a subpoena from the Santa Barbara County Public Defender’s Office, the order to appear in court was rescinded.

The Far Corners of the Globe

Pico Iyer, well known for his travel writings and for his discourse on global society and culture, will be performing at Campbell Hall on Monday, May 19, to discuss his most recent book, The Open Road, which reflects on the ideas and leadership of his revered friend, the Dalai Lama, as a religious leader, politician and philosopher.

Sharapova

Justine Henin is retiring? Who the heck cares? Not the QB, who is seriously rejoicing the fact that he’ll be able to watch a skimpily clad Maria Sharapova in several more commercials before she calls it quits.

Noodling Around

If popularity were based solely on naming conventions, Momofuku would have been insanely popular among the college crowd from the moment it was announced. Named for the inventor of cup noodles, Momofuku Ando, Elvis Costello’s first release in two years appeared roughly as quickly and with as little fanfare as the ramen to which it pays tribute.