SB Faces Stiff Competition in Stanford
Coming off strong performances over spring break, the UCSB men’s and women’s track and field teams will return to the oval and hope to make their presence known against some of the country’s strongest and fastest teams when they compete at the Stanford Invitational in Palo Alto, California.
Adieu, adieu
We’ll miss the wins, the candor and the humor. But most of all, we’ll miss the mustache. Coach French, you were truly one of a kind, and from a media standpoint, there’s no way you can ever be replaced.
They Tell Me It’s Not a Recession
According to The New York Times, major retail stores like Best Buy, Circuit City and Home Depot are more open to “haggling” with customers because of low prices on the Internet and a sluggish economy. There’s a joke in there somewhere. I know there is. What or who could I possibly make fun of? Nah, I like my job and I want to keep it. Insert your own haggling joke here __________.
EPA Takes Reins on Oil Spill Cleanup
Noting that the site of a Greka Oil and Gas Inc. spill has remained contaminated for more than two months, the Environmental Protection Agency recently announced that it would take over the cleaning efforts in the area.
UCLA Nabs MPSF Tournament Bid
The UCSB men’s volleyball team’s playoff hopes took a big hit last night, while rival UCLA managed to capture a conference playoff berth. The #14 Gauchos loss to the #7 Bruins places UCSB three games out of the final playoff spot with just three games to go.
Hypocrisy Clouds Parental Advice
“Well, I’m thinking about finding a place in Pacifica. I hear it’s really foggy, but at least the rent’s cheaper.”
“You’ll fit in perfectly, son. You’ve been growing up your whole life in a fog.”
The Raconteurs Release a Revelatory Record
Good God, it’s nice to hear Jack White with a competent drummer behind him. The Raconteurs’ second album, Consolers of the Lonely, is not dominated by The White Stripes’ front man, although it does have his mark on it. Still, Consolers is clearly a band effort Consolers of the Lonely is a good album, which […]
Nicki’s Nifty News: Can You Say that Again?
Most who have spent time in a non-English-speaking country know how incredibly hard it is to get by speaking only, “Hello! How are you? My name is Nicki.” Learning a brand-new language – French – has got to be one of the most difficult things I’ve ever tried to do. Before I went abroad, I was very unforgiving when foreigners couldn’t speak English well. Seriously, you’re in the U.S. now and we speak English here. Join us.
Vandenberg AFB Sends Warhead on Trial Flight
An intercontinental ballistic missile was launched from Vandenberg Air Force Base early yesterday morning in a test of the weapon system’s accuracy and reliability.
SB Falters Against Top Notch Foes
Spring Break was unkind to the UCSB women’s tennis team, as the Gauchos posted a disappointing 3-5 record over the quarterly intermission. Even though UCSB (7-9) played the majority of its games at home during the three-week layoff, the struggling Gauchos could only muster two wins in five games on their home courts.