The Lineup
1. According to celeb gossipmongers, Paris Hilton is heading to Rwanda with the children’s charity Playing for Good, in yet another move expressly designed to change her bad-girl image.
Weather
A lot of weird shit goes on at this campus, and usually I don’t bother to ask why.
Authorities Seek Stabbing Suspect in Second Assault
Following the hospital release of stab victim and UCSB student Eli Weiner on Monday, another witness came forward to police yesterday claiming the suspect assaulted him the same evening the incident occurred.
Armchair QB
Finally, Stoneman is out of Anaheim. Now only if the new GM proves to have more guts than a three-year-old, I’ll get over the stupid name change.
Make Sexy Time Shaven, Not Furred
I will never know for sure, but if I were a gambling man, I would bet that James Bond is flying bald eagle.
Officials Identify Victims, Driver of Alleged DUI Crash
The two women killed in Sunday’s alleged drunk-driving accident in Montecito were identified as Sara Elizabeth Pezzimenti and Kelly Marie Ruiz.
SB Faces Tough Road Test
Without both co-captains and one of the most intimidating defensive forces in the nation, the #10 UCSB men’s soccer team will battle Central Coast rival Cal Poly tonight in a matchup of the Big West’s two first-place teams.
Lambright Plight Has All-Too-Familiar Tone
Pimping ain’t easy and neither is being a Cuban. I know this to be a fact and to all fellow Cubans, I quote the words of Bill “Slick Willy the Teflon Man” Clinton: “I feel your pain.”
A.S., Goleta Bars Agree to Sponsor Bill’s Bus Fee
Bowlers and karaoke fans alike can leave their keys at home on Wednesday nights and still enjoy a night out thanks to the renewal of a program this fall that gives students free Bill’s Bus rides to Zodo’s and Old Town Tavern.
UCSB Battles Cal Poly in Fight for First
After a disappointing weekend with a pair of 2-1 losses to Pepperdine and UC Irvine, the UCSB women’s soccer team will try and bounce back tonight in its final non-conference match of the season at #9 Santa Clara.