The government just updated its dietary guidelines. The groundbreaking new recommendations are to eat fewer calories and exercise more. You’d think this was already a pretty major part of the guidelines, but I guess not.

According to the L.A. Times, the Center for Science in the Public Interestcalled the new guidelines the “most health oriented ever.”

Ummm.

I’d hate to think what was in the old guidelines.

Thursday’s forecast: EAT CANDY EAT CANDY MORE CANDY CANDY GOOD YUM CANDY AND LARD.