OK, so I’m not responsible for all the rain. Really. Quite the contrary. I’m annoyed just like you are; I had to buy an umbrella. Ironically, the weatherhuman loses umbrellas all the time.
By the way, you know the phrase, “Let a smile be your umbrella”? It’s crap. A smile is a really dumb shape for an umbrella. You’ll be walking around with a bowl of water over your head.
Monday’s forecast: 80 percent chance I’ve already lost my umbrella and am forced to frown.
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“dusty rusty crusty musty ass california hills”
“frowning in plaid (haunted radios, bird bones + anthropomorphized wind)”
“warming my hands on bridges i’ve burnt”
“songs that make me see god”
“My Playlist #236”
“classy wine moment and intellectual conversation”
“90s heroin chic model off duty”
“tweet tweet bird emoji map emoji”
“not my circus, not my monkeys”
“a grave is probably cheaper than an apartment”
“ATE THESE BITCHES LEFT NO CRUMBS / DID IT IN DESIGNER PUMPS”
