Adult Education
When you step into a strip facility, it’s going to be dark and loud. When your eyes adjust to the dimness, read the sign posted with all of the rules on it and pay the doorman your entry fee, which ranges from free to $20 or so depending on time of day, day of the week, etc.
Knock: Vacation’s Back in Session, Folks
I was sunning myself off the coast of Malta, loafing on a 50-foot yacht with my ridiculously wealthy friends, when I was struck with a revelation. Summer sucks. I then blurted out the notion to my shipmates.
Win Propels Men’s Soccer to #1
In a game of unprecedented proportions for UCSB soccer, and perhaps UCSB athletics as a whole, the Gauchos survived a double-overtime heavyweight slugfest with perennial national powerhouse Indiana University 1-0 last Saturday in New Mexico.
National Championship or Bust for #1 Santa Barbara
With the afternoon sun parching UCSB’s new artificial turf in front of the RecCen, Head Coach Tim Vom Steeg addressed his team as only a true teacher would.
Tips for Big Tippers
Artsweek advises that the best way to approach a strip club is out of curiosity and sheer amusement, despite how desperate for poonani you might be.
Fall From DP Cliff Leaves Woman Severely Injured
Police responding to an emergency call Sunday morning found an unidentified woman lying on the beach with major injuries, apparently the result of a fall from the cliffs along Del Playa Drive.
Sports Column: Soccer America
Ultimate success is always measured in championships, but for now, the Gauchos can boast the most fulfilling phrase in sports: “We’re # 1!”
Behind the Velvet Curtain
As Patrick Henry once famously declared, “Give me a lap dance, or give me death!” Actually, that was Charlie Sheen a few nights ago in the Champagne Room. But regardless of who said it, the sentiment remains the same.
Retrofitted, Beautified FT Reopens to UCSB Only
Workers wrapped up their $25 million makeover of the Francisco Torres Residence Hall towers just in time for this year’s freshman inhabitants to test out the building’s new seismic upgrades and dual flush toilets.
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow | Aye, Aye, ‘Captain’
Almost nothing you see is real. The buildings are fake, the trees are fake and some of the people might not even be people. They might be robots. Such is the situation you find yourself in while watching “Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow.”