County To Deny Deli Mart’s Liquor License

An Isla Vista convenience store will probably not receive an off-site liquor sales license, county officials said. There are currently six off-site liquor sales licenses issued in Isla Vista and approval of the I.V. Deli Mart’s application would exceed the allotted limit of licenses for the area.

Perfecting the Art of Post-Sex Pillow Talk

Anyone who has ever been around here March through June should know about the mad rush of people looking to get action on a daily basis during this time. If you haven’t, you are in for a treat. Spring Quarter pheromones are more prevalent in the air than pollen.

Alpine Racing: Gauchos Snag Five Titles During National Championships in Maine

UCSB’s alpine racing team captured five individual and team national championships on March 1-6 at the US Collegiate Ski and Snowboard Association’s national championship, held in Sugarloaf, Maine.

Intramurals: Gaucho club sucks, races way to Western Regionals

The underground has cleaned up.

Extreme vacuum racing has surfaced at UCSB as an official coed club sport and has established itself as one of Santa Barbara’s premier clubs.

Everybody needs some body sometimes

With budget cuts looming on the horizon, UCSB Student Health Service officials have been thinking outside the body bag in their search for a way to increase revenues.

Students Oppose UC Policy Changes

A proposed revision to the University of California’s policies on campus activities, organizations and student government has some students feeling censored by University administration.

The Artful Dodger: Leno Earns Big Bucks While Others Take It on the Chin

TV reminds me that the world is unjust. Everyday I watch the news and hear from Mr. Newsie Newsman that innocents die in terrorist attacks, that the financial chasm between the rich and the poor widens steadily and that the space marble called Earth inches toward self-imposed environmental self-obliteration.

Zebras belong at the alphabet’s end

I hate Zebras. I really do. They’re a sad excuse for an animal adapted to live on the harsh African plains. They’re not horses.

Dreary Yiri

Some dreams just don’t make any sense. For UCSB exchange student Yiri Federchofk, they make all the sense in the world. And this spring, they will come true.

Election losers resort to meat, drugs, violence

Mouths water and nostrils flare with every tender bite into one of Slick Gardner’s burgers. At a makeshift stand erected on the front lawn of his ranch, meat patties sizzle in their crimson juices as Mr. Gardner, beer in one hand and spatula in the other, gazes into the distance.