We may say “dude” too many times. We may act like typical surfers. But here in sunny Southern California we do one thing — we win.
Despite adversity from every which way, the Los Angeles Lakers have closed the mouths of many, including Kings fans, who may have started to realize that the word “clutch” is not in their dictionary.
It basically comes down to three things in the world of the NBA.
First — smarts. When you have millions upon millions of dollars, like Lakers owner Jerry Buss, why not go out and spend the most money to get the best players in the world? Don’t upgrade your Palms Casino with new towel racks. Karl Malone and Gary Payton both knew that by coming to L.A., they had the best chance to win a championship ring, and let’s not forget that the women in SoCal are amazing… have you seen the Olsen twins lately?
Secondly – fan support. A common stereotype about Lakers fans is that we talk on our cell phones throughout the game and then leave early. Well, that is true. And here’s the reason why. Because we know we will win in the end. I can leave a Lakers game 30 minutes early when they are down 15 because I know we have a man by the name of Kobe Bryant who does things Kings fans don’t know about… like winning games in close situations.
Third — overcoming adversity. Kobe, Kobe, Kobe. What can someone say about this man? Being accused of rape, flying in and out of airports, not getting any sleep… making shots. That is the life of Kobe Bean Bryant. He thrives on the attention he receives from the boos and hatred in opposing arenas. Yes, cheating on your wife is wrong, but playing the game of basketball extremely, extremely well is not.
As each year comes along and I open up my new Anna Kournikova calendar, I flip right to the month of June. Not to mark down when finals are or to plan vacations – I flip to June because I know from the the beginning of the year, I will be watching my Los Angeles Lakers play basketball in the NBA Finals. Kings fans mark their calendars for June as well; this is the time where the excuses need to come in for why the Kings were so, so close yet again. Hey Doug Christie, put your left hand up like you have Tourette’s syndrome for that one.
Here are my tips and suggestions for Kings fans. First, no more excuses. In and out was Chris Webber’s shot… well, the man should have called a timeout. He is good at doing that. Secondly, if anyone wants to come over and be a Lakers fan now, I promise I won’t say anything to anybody. Trust me, it’s really fun to watch a series knowing you will win even though you may be down 3-0 in the series. Thirdly, Vlade Divac: I’ve got some great advice for you buddy. One, stop smoking cigarettes in the tunnels before the games – did you know cigarettes are the number one cause of lung cancer? Two, retire; my dad can run faster than you and he is closing in on 60. Three, retire (just want to make sure you understand number two).
I don’t hate the Kings. I just don’t understand. As soon as that game was over and the season ended, the next day, an article came out with excuses explaining why they should have won. When the Lakers put on their fourth ring in five years, just cheer and imagine the happiness L.A. goes through. We know one thing that Sacramento fans don’t, and that’s how to win.
So, how ’bout those Giants?