So you’ve all been told what to do and what not to on this most specialest of days – at least for those with a date.

Now forget all the advice. Except the part Lady Hump suggested about getting laid.
That’s kosher.

There’s really only one thing that needs to be said, and it really needed to be said about 3 weeks ago: Get tested for venereal diseases.

But, since it’s too late for that now, I guess you guys are shit-out-of-luck.

Suckers.

(At least you can learn a thing or two about spreading your could-be disease from the Kama Sutra excerpt we’ve so kindly included for you below.)

Drink of the Week

The Valentine
– 1/2 oz. vodka
– 1/3 oz Chambord
raspberry liqueur
– 1/3 oz Godiva
liqueur
– 1/3 oz Kahlua
Mix all ingredients in a glass and stir.
The Valentine is a drink to impress a hot date with not only its delectable flavor, but all the classy (sounding) and (damn) expensive ingredients.
Show him or her you care: liquor ’em up.

A Taste of the Kama Sutra

In the same way can be carried on the congress of a dog, the congress of a goat, the congress of a deer, the forcible mounting of an ass, the congress of a cat, the jump of a tiger, the pressing of an elephant, the rubbing of a boar, and the mounting of a horse. And in all these cases the characteristics of these different animals should be manifested by acting like them.

-Vatsyayana