Drunk in Headlights
Saturday, Jan. 17, 12:46 a.m. – An Isla Vista Foot Patrol officer patrolling the 6500 block of Del Playa Drive observed a 21-year-old man walk directly toward an oncoming vehicle, which was traveling at approximately five miles per hour.

The man jumped onto the vehicle and ran over the top to the back of the car. After jumping off the car, the man proceeded to walk down the street.

When contacted by the officer, the man said he was very drunk and sorry. He was arrested for public intoxication and transported to the county jail.

Sidewalk Showers
Saturday, Jan. 17, 11:42 p.m. – IVFP officers on the 6700 block of DP saw a 19-year-old man standing on the sidewalk and urinating.

Due to his drunken state, the man was also urinating on his shoes and pants. The officers had to physically assist the man to the curb.

The suspect was arrested for public intoxication and transported to the county jail, where he became combative and uncooperative.

What Would a Braves Fan Do?
Sunday, Jan. 18, 1:21 a.m. – IVFP officers at the corner of Camino Del Sur and DP saw a 19-year-old man staggering toward them with his right fist clenched. The officers heard the man tell his friend, “I fucking punched him in the face.”

The officers approached the man and asked him if he had been involved in a fight. The man told the officers, “I walked up to a guy walking down the street wearing a Dodgers jersey and told him the Dodgers suck. I like the Braves, baby. The guy got right in my face and hit me. I protected myself and hit him back a couple of times. What would you do?”

During the story, the officers noticed that the man had a strong scent of alcohol about him. They also saw a bulge in the right rear pocket of his pants. The officers searched the man’s pants and found an open bottle of Bacardi Gold with a small amount of liquid in it.

When the officers asked the man why he had the alcohol with him he said, “I picked it up off the ground because it’s a collector’s item.”

The officers escorted the man to the curb to verify his identification. The man became agitated and said the officers were harassing him because he is Mexican. When asked where he lives, the man said he had just moved and did not have a new address.

The man was arrested for public intoxication and minor in possession of alcohol. Once in handcuffs, he complained that the cuffs hurt and told the officers that he saw what they did to Michael Jackson on television.

Empty Bladder, Full of Shit
Sunday, Jan. 18, 1:38 a.m. – An IVFP officer on the 6500 block of DP saw a 19-year-old female pull her jeans down past her knees, squat and begin urinating.

The officer noticed that she had positioned herself next to a trashcan at the end of a driveway and was clearly visible, not only from the street but also from the balcony of a residence where a group of guys had gathered to watch the show.

The officer tried to get the woman’s attention, but she did not respond. Then he shone his flashlight on her. The woman’s female friend said, “Hey, don’t. She’s naked,” clearly oblivious to the fact that the officer was not the only one watching.

The woman stopped peeing and pulled up her pants. When the officer asked for her I.D., the woman hesitated and then said she did not have it on her. She told the officer her name and date of birth.

The officer noticed that the woman was carrying a purse and asked if it was hers. She said it was and the officer asked if anything in her purse would have her name on it. When she said no, the officer asked to see the contents of the purse to confirm what she said.

Inside the purse, the officer found a California driver’s license with the woman’s name and picture, but a birthday that would have made her 21 years old. The woman said a friend of hers made the I.D.

The woman told the officer she had just left a party with her female friend where she had five or six beers. She pointed to a man who was standing on the sidewalk and said he was going to give her a ride home. The man left the area as soon as he realized the woman was talking about him.

The woman was arrested for public intoxication and possession of false identification for the purpose of purchasing alcohol.