Our Medieval Times
The Knights of Santa Barbara emerged from the mud, blood and beer as state jousting champions in a tournament at Royal Yang Field. The three best knights from the Santa Barbara/Islavistingham fiefdom defeated the top three knights from the North 2-1 in a tournament filled with controversy and debauchery.
The Peasent’s Voice: Small Problems Can Get Big if You Don’t Deal With Them Early
“What light through yonder closet breaks?” quoth I Sunday morning last, upon my re-arrival at the dormitoria after the break of the Spring Festival.
Regents Indulge GPAs for a Price
As its coffers dwindle, the University of California is offering its academic wastrels a chance to repent and earn forgiveness through donations to the Mother University.
Golden Grail Gala
As dawn cast its splendour across the majestic field of storied Cur Shit Park on the fifth mourn of Shamalamadingdong, archers drew their bows for a chance to sip the spoils of victory from the coveted Lord Stanley’s Golden Grail and lay the Virgin Maiden of Del Playa.
The Peasent’s Voice: Damned if You Are, Damned if You Aren’t: Witches Found in Dorms
This may shock and awe all of you, but with the Good Lord’s help I hope that you all might suspend your disbelief at this most wretched news I here reveal.
Right Makes Might?
Republican armies took control of key northwestern trade routes and Islavistingham ale-smuggling corridors Monday, marking the latest pitched battle in a series of armed clashes between political ideologies within the UCSB Fiefdom.
Roma Wears Togas Nicely
Hark! Fellow countrymen and maidens, I have returned to the friendly confines of Islavistingham after seven years of weary travel to tell you tales of regale, splendour and blood ‘n’ guts abound in the Valley of the Spaghetti Os.
The Spring Goddess Returns
‘Tis the wonderful time of Spring once again. Flowers bloom, the days lengthen and the maids doth begin the annual shedding of their winter layers.
UC Merced May Evict Wee Folkes
The proposed University of California, Merced should eventually have one of the best animal husbandry programs from here to Gaul, but the region’s faerie shrimp, gnomes, nymphs, sprites, pixies and other wee folke may not be around to appreciate it.