Lots of Problems
I have a problem class. Every time my professor gets frustrated, he relieves his misery by assigning extra homework. Every time he grades our homework, he gets frustrated.
ILL Spittin’ Game: Timberwolves Not Alive in Game Five, L.A.’s Already Dead
Have you ever seen anything so despicable, in the eloquent words of Daffy Duck? Disregard last month’s blind date to a wild boar with prominent yellow tusks and splotches of hairy moles, and your answer should be a definitive no.
Grant Enables Professor to Finish Book
A UCSB professor recently won a prestigious fellowship to fund research on metaphysical beliefs, further boosting the university’s reputation in religious studies.
Defending the Foot Patrol
Grand juries are a funny thing. On the one hand, you have a group of people gathered together to make a ruling to better some aspect of society based on the findings in their published report.
Softball: UCSB Sings Sweet Harmony
Behind gritty pitching from freshman Carly Harmon, the Gauchos defeated Riverside 3-1 at Campus Diamond on Tuesday. The win was Santa Barbara’s 34th of the year, tying the school record for most wins in a season.
Students Collect Money for Iraqis
Some students are asking you to forsake your candy money to help those living in the wake of war. Several members of UCSB’s Student Coalition for Peace (SCP) staked out a spot in front of the UCen this week where students can donate spare change for the Iraqi humanitarian aid effort.
My Gay Brother Is Better Than an Older Sister
I’ve definitely made out with girls. I was about 13 when my older brother Scott related to me over a car wash that he called his boyfriend “Pookie” on occasion.
Men’s lacrosse: Seawolves Surrender to #1 Gauchos
What do you do when you achieve your dreams? If you are the recently-ranked #1 UCSB men’s lacrosse club team, you keep pushing until you reach the national championship game.
Plovers Need Docents for Protection
Crack open the Courvoisier and put Barry White on the stereo, but don’t step over the rope fences because the snowy plovers are, impelled by a seasonal biological drive, in the mood for love.
You Shouldn’t Ignore the Reasons for War
Apparently Scott Englund’s television is stuck on FOX. His statement that this war was “fought for entirely moral reasons” (Daily Nexus, “Protest Signs Tell More About Liberal Delusions Than Iraqi War,” April 28, 2003) is like saying you can make cookies with only flour.