Keep Your Orifices Open
There is a sad truth to life around here: Despite being in one of the most open sexual times in history, we are still horribly sexually repressed.
Unarmed Man Robs Bank
The Goleta branch of Montecito Bank and Trust was robbed Monday afternoon when a single male suspect entered the bank and demanded cash from a teller.
The Weatherpest
The weatherkitchen has a rat. It took up residence with us late last month, which was great because we were looking for a subletter anyway.
Lab Rat: You Could Be Anywhere
Since the stations know their true position, they can tell how accurate the satellites’ information is and send it to GPS receivers to help correct them.
Water Skiing: Santa Barbara Jets to Wet ‘n Wild Fun
What do you get when you combine a lake, a boat, and cute guys and girls in bathing suits? No, it’s not the latest setup for a porn movie, it’s just another day in the life of a member of the UCSB water-ski club team.
Software Error Lists Voters as Absentees
An anomaly in the county clerk office’s voter registration software was responsible for many late-registered voters being erroneously marked as absentee voters at the county’s polling locations
UCSB Fights Matadors
The Gauchos had the makings of great offense a year ago, but needed one more player to ignite the offense. Junior midfielder Memo Arzate, leading the Big West with 14 assists, has been that spark.
Russia’s Tough Take on Terror Isn’t So Different From Our Own
Politics make for strange bedfellows but become stranger due to changing times. I was lucky enough to grow up during the climax period of the Cold War.
Locals Urge Students to Vote
On today’s ballot, voters have several choices to make, from our next congresswoman and state governor to the new county deputy district attorney.
Drugstore Cowboy: Thanks for All the Memories; Next Time Keep Your Hands Off
There are some places in this world where they cut off your hands for stealing. I think Isla Vista should be the place where you get your hands cut off for molesting people.