The police stopped a thief down the street from my apartment this weekend.

“Bikes,” I thought. Or maybe computer equipment. But no.

His truck was full of stolen… palm fronds.

That’s right. The perpetrator apparently had a five-finger discount and a green thumb. Is nothing sacred?

Lock up your plants, ladies and gentlemen; a new era in crime has begun. No one is safe in this town as long as the black market for leaves persists.

Or maybe it was just an isolated incident, but who really knows for sure?

Monday’s forecast: The nights are getting longer and the thieves are getting drunker.