This weekend was the most incredible weekend of sports in my short, insubstantial life.

Sure, there have been those six weeks of delirium and ecstasy in eight years when the Chicago Bulls rampaged through the Finals. And that time when I was three years old when the Bears shuffled their way to a Super Bowl mutilation of the Patsies back in 1986.

But this – this weekend: Holy Cow!

YANKEES LOSE TO DIAMONDBACKS!

BULLS SLAP KNICKS FOR FIRST WIN!

BEARS SCORE TWO TOUCHDOWNS IN FINAL 28 SECONDS, DEFEAT CLEVELAND BROWNS IN OVERTIME ON SAFEFTY MIKE BROWN’S SECOND INTERCEPTION RETURN FOR A TD IN TWO CONSECUTIVE WEEKS!

Never before have I witnessed such a spectacular culmination of events in the world of sports. I have never dreamt of stupendous feats unfurling before my gaping eyes.

Babe Ruth could emerge from his grave, chew on a cigar and signal for a tater in a makeshift Series Game 7 tomorrow and I’d be unfazed.

Willis Reed could come straddling down the court in his gimpy swagger and I would ask for another bedtime story.

Michael Jordan could come back … you get the picture.

I still can’t get over what an incredible weekend it was. Starting with the Yankees’ loss. Thank God they lost the World Series. And I’ll take the heat – I was dead wrong on this one. Daily Nexus, Oct. 24: “The Yankees are going to win.” Whoops.

Arizona really came out and showed they were the world champions. For a change, I’m beaming that I was dead wrong.

Mariano Rivera, Numero Uno Yank-Goat, who gave up D-Back’s Luis Gonzalez’s game-winning bloop single, said “That’s baseball – there’s nothing I can do about it.”

That, ladies and gentleman, is what makes every sport delectable. The unexpected can happen any day of the week, against anybody, anywhere, anytime – off the uprights, across the bed of flowers, through the Refrigerators’ legs, off Charles Barkley’s melon, nothing but bottom of the net.

Om.

The Diamondbacks’ heroism was that much sweeter because Mark Grace (three hits in Game 7, great rah-rah locker room guy) and Gonzo were former Cubbies. (I have to rub it in, ya filthy Yank fans!)

And the Bulls won Saturday against the Knicks. The Bulls are terrible, and the Knicks couldn’t handle a basic box and one? You don’t deserve to win if a simple high school defense played by a clueless bunch of ninnies (that’s right – the Bulls) baffles you.

Arguably one of the greatest comebacks in the history of the NFL, with all due respect to Frank Reich and the 1993 Buffalo Bills, now belongs to the 2001 Bears after this weekend’s 27-21 OT stunner against The Mistake by Lake Browns.

Walter Payton’s spirit seems to guide a Bears’ team to a unheard of rapture. James Allen catches 32-yard Hail Mary from weak-armed Shane “Don’t Come Back” Matthews. Bear defensive end Bryan Robinson tipped a Tim Couch pass to set up Brown’s 16-yard INT return for a TD. The week Payton died, Robinson blocked a field goal attempt at Green Bay and scored the winning touchdown. Robinson said it was Payton himself who lifted his legs to block the kick and save the game. Brown is the new keeper of the city in Chicago. But there are still the whisperings of a magical autumn wind rustling in each Chicagoans’ ears:

Sweetness is in the air.

Om.

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