Post Tagged with: "morning stack"

Jeremy Lin: Greatest African-American Basketball Player Ever
Opinion / Satire

Jeremy Lin: Greatest African-American Basketball Player Ever

Linsanity has reached a new milestone. After only two-and-a-half weeks of stellar play, the basketball world is in agreement that Jeremy Lin has eclipsed Detlef Schrempf as the greatest African-American basketball player ever. So what? In this day and age is it truly necessary to categorize athletes on the basis […]

The Best and Worst of 2012: The Forgotten Categories
Opinion / Satire

The Best and Worst of 2012: The Forgotten Categories

This past Tuesday the Daily Nexus published its Best of 2012 issue. Readers voted on the best restaurants, locations and establishments of 2012. Today we have our own edition — The Best and Worst of 2012: The Forgotten Categories.   Best Place for Guaranteed Diarrhea: Naan Stop If you’re looking […]

Opinion / Satire

FBI Agents Giddy About Gaucho Gossip

Prompted by three recent acts of terrorism in the UCSB community, the student body has fallen under scrutiny from the FBI and the Department of Homeland Security. Reporters have learned that these agencies are tapping the phones and monitoring the text messages of all UCSB students under the provisions of […]

Raucous Party Sparks Philisophical Debate
News

Raucous Party Sparks Philisophical Debate

If a tree falls in the forest and nobody hears it, does it make a sound? The famous words of philosopher Charles Mann hold special relevance for Kyle Bartman following his belligerent 21st birthday party this past Saturday night. All attendees have lost their memory of the party and, as […]

Teammates Criticize Eli Manning’s Stupid Face
Opinion / Satire

Teammates Criticize Eli Manning’s Stupid Face

As the New York Giants prepare to face off with the New England Patriots in the Super Bowl for the second time in five years, Eli Manning’s leadership is being questioned by his own teammates due to his constant shit-eating grin and unbelievably annoying facial expression. Victor Cruz, breakout wide […]