Post Tagged with: "morning stack"

Opinion / Satire

One Stacked Library: The Post-Finals Realization That You Have Been Dating Davidson

As planned, Davidson Library will under- go a significant expansion and renovation over the course of the next two years. Construction begins this summer and will be completed sometime in 2014. Current underclassmen and prospective students are thrilled by the possibility of more study space and a larger collection of […]

Opinion / Satire

It’s Gettin’ Hot in Hurr’: Partygoers Nearly Suffocate in Hormone Cloud

UCSB’s Christ-centered fraternity threw a party this past Saturday. With no drugs or alcohol there, the party was completely fueled by the force of repressed sexual energy emanating from the male and female partygoers. The party was thrown in celebration of the engagement of Sarah Smith and Luke Connors, who […]

Opinion / Satire

Yang in a Wig to Replace Snoop Dogg at Extravaganza

Due to bad investments, the Associated Students Program Board has discovered it cannot afford to hire legendary rapper Snoop Dogg for next Sunday’s Extravaganza concert. Fortunately, our generous leader, Chancellor Henry T. Yang, has agreed to step in and perform Snoop’s entire set while wearing a wig and makeup. “I […]

UC San Diego Student’s Drug Bust Turns Into Luckiest Thing Ever
Opinion / Satire

UC San Diego Student’s Drug Bust Turns Into Luckiest Thing Ever

On April 20, Daniel Chong was just relaxing and smoking marijuana with friends. Though it was the annual 4/20 holiday, smoking was not a rare activity for Daniel. He was just going about his normal day. All of a sudden, DEA agents raided his house and his life changed forever. […]

I Got Arrested; George Zimmerman Did Not Get Arrested
Opinion / Satire

I Got Arrested; George Zimmerman Did Not Get Arrested

On the night of Feb. 26, 2012, in Sanford, Florida, George Zimmerman shot and killed 17-year-old Trayvon Martin. Miraculously, Zimmerman has not been arrested or charged with any crimes. Our readers wish they could be so lucky. Today we are taking the time to answer emails from readers who have […]