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Armchair QB

Armchair QB

AQB is dedicating this one to all the athletes mentioned in this issue for their first time who will get laid exponentially more from now on. That’s what journalists do: Get other people laid for fr...
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AQB: An Entertaining All-Star Game?

This weekend, Blake Griffin did the impossible: He made the NBA's All-Star game actually relevant!
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AQB: Vick Rejects Oprah?

Michael Vick canceled his appearance on Oprah? Smart move, Mike. She scares AQB too. And thanks for giving AQB something else to talk about besides the Lakers losing to the Cavs.
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AQB: The Bernie Madoff Defense

Bernard Madoff defended Mets owners Fred and Jeff Wilpon the other day, claiming “they knew nothing” about his Ponzi scheme. Fine, but...
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AQB: Spitting on the Links

Sorry for all the Tiger Woods news, but now he’s catching flack for spitting on a green this weekend. In what kind of a “sport” is a competitor not allowed to spit?
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AQB: Dear Duke…

Dear Duke/members of the ACC: You may be better at basketball than we are, but you still live on the East Coast. How does dirty snow taste?
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AQB: Back to Blake…

There’s actually a controversy over whether or not to select Blake Griffin for the West’s All-Star Team? The guy’s averaging 23 points and 13 boards!
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AQB: Sports Cliches

If AQB hears one more sports cliche, he’s going to give it 110 percent, put his best foot forward and be aggressive. Hopefully he can execute.
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AQB: On LeBron’s Destruction of Cleveland

LeBron and the Heat took a big dump on the Cavs yesterday, sending them to their 21st loss in a row. Anyone else remember when owner Dan Gilbert promised a ’ship before the Heat got one?
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Amchair QB: Super Bowl Titties

AQB wants to throw a Superbowl party, yet one roommate is “impartial” to throwing one because he “hates the Steelers and the Packers.” And all AQB wanted was to drink and watch all the commerc...
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AQB: MMA is Gnarly.

AQB initially dismissed MMA fighting as classless boxing for the petty borgeoise. Then he watched Urijah Faber highlights.
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AQB Says: To the letter senders…

To the two people who sent e-mails to the Sports Eds. about Julia Speace's NFC/AFC preview:
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AQB: On Wes Welker’s Foot Jokes

AQB was searching for Wes Welker’s foot jokes about Rex Ryan on YouTube when he realized that the NFL doesn’t permit the reproduction of anything without its expressed written consent.
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AQB: Get off LBJ’s Privates

The Miami Heat have lost four games in a row in spite of LeBron James returning from an injury. AQB thinks this might officially be the time for LeBron lovers to get off his nuts. AQB is not being has...
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AQB: Yet Another Blake Griffin Love Fest

AQB can’t talk enough about Blake Griffin. His body control, his jumping ability, his toned, muscular arms, his eyes ... Fuck.
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