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Wednesday Hump

Coming Out on Top: The Down-Low on Bending the Straight Line and Pegging the Sexually Confused

If you ever feel like risking your immortal soul, it is my suggestion that you peruse Craigslist’s casual encounters. The activity is quite enjoyable, especially if you are as demented as me and my ...
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Prude to Crude: How One Freshman Found Her Inner Freak

Until college, I was the prude. The hot Asian prude, but nonetheless the prude. At my ironically slutty all-girls Catholic school, everyone tried to hide their obvious skankiness. And while my boyfrie...
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Who’s on Top? How Society Dictates Your Position in Life and in the Bedroom

Now, I know I have almost beaten gender roles in our society to death, but I’ve still got one last little bit to harp on. All of this theory is leading up to something — a part of my sex life an a...
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Respect Your Elders: Keep the Legacy Alive (Beneath the Sheets and Beyond)

Alumni Weekend came as quickly as an undersexed 35-year-old with a full-time cubicle job as soon as he spots something fertile. Like a dark, ominous cloud — holding not refreshing showers, but a dis...
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Where to Turn When BROing and HOing Have Lost Their Appeal

Most unfortunately, in order to speak of this next topic, I will have to address something fetid and repulsive. I’m going to talk about an aspect of intercourse that is often lost, forgotten, feared...
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I Never Tell a Lie, Except for Those Times When I Do

The average person tells seven lies a day. I’m not sure if I read that from a Snapple fact or if I just made that up. But anyway, I didn’t believe it at first, until I started listening to half th...
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Don’t Base Your Desires on the Gender Binary: Go For What Gets You Off

Nation. People. Literate UCSB students. I come before you today to offer a study that will revolutionize science. Its elegance, infallibility, and pure genius will force the Nobel committee to establi...
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The Roommate Double-Double: Careful Where That Appetite Takes You

Logic is the devil of language. And you want to know why? Because it would make perfect sense for you to fall in love with your hookup’s roommate. Talk about a classic mix-up. Have you ever woken up...
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Sexuality and Flexibility: No, No, Not That Kind of Flexibility

I spent a long while trying to think of what to write for my first sex article for the Daily Nexus, and as I thought about it, I was forced to think about what, exactly, a sex article should cover. T...
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The Six Degrees of Isla Vista: You Wish It Were Only A Theory

Have you ever been sitting around, shootin’ the shit with your friends, when all of a sudden you stop and realize you’ve all essentially hooked up with one another? All right, before you judge me,...
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She Said: “Looking like you don’t give a fuck that you’re not getting fucked is difficult.”

Valentine’s Day is over, and thank God for that. I’m not even talking about the relationship bullshit (well, not yet anyway). Now that the girls of I.V. are finally off the gluten/dairy/sugar-free...
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“I’m Rooting for Peyton Manning”

Watching the Super Bowl for girls is like watching the WNBA … for anyone. We hate it, we really do. But we’d never tell you that. In fact, we spend our entire Super Bowl Sunday attempting to show ...
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“I’m Not a Slut, I Swear” and Other Bedroom Mantras

“Shit Girls Say” started an epidemic. I just watched “Shit People Say About Shit People Say Videos” for a solid minute and 39 seconds; yeah, it’s gotten to that point. But you know what they...
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Booty Texting: How to Send the Right Message

We’ve all been guilty of booty calling. Or maybe not, but your day of shame will come, young grasshopper. “Hey, what are you doing,” “Where are you?” “Wanna hang?” all sound innocent …...
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Don’t Chase Shots, Chase Jerseys: How to Land Yourself One

So listen, syllabus week is over. It’s time to get your shit together. No, I’m not talking about getting your books, stop that. Do you know me at all? No, it’s Christmas season round 2: winter s...
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