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Return of the Shack: How To Get that One Night Stand Out of Your Bed

To all you newbies, freshmen or downright nice human beings who can’t get that shacker out of your bed, here are seven ways to get him or her to become the Angel of the Morning!
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Goat Boy: Ceiling Stars


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Game Day


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It’s That Time of Year Again


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The 2018 Gaucho Voter’s Guide

This list features information on special measures exclusively pertaining to life in Isla Vista!
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Cops Caught Flipping Cars to Promote “Keep It Local” Agenda

Isla Vista residents have recently fallen victim to a series of crimes aptly named by this writer, “Monster Mash Window Crashes.” The local Free & For Sale page and the UCSB “meme page” ha...
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Dear Mother, Halloween Sucks

We have no hope this Halloween. The fences are high, higher than any of our friends are getting...
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Soccer Players Not Hot Enough To Warrant Sitting Through Whole Game

15 minutes into the infamous UCSB versus Cal Poly SLO soccer game, second-year Veronica Dickstein realized that the soccer players weren’t even hot enough to warrant staying any longer than necessar...
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Goat Boy: No Pun, No Entry


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Entitlement


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Midterm Starter Pack


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Registering to Vote


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Timely Warning! Here Are The 10 Disappointing Guys Who Will Ask You Out This Quarter

I’m so over being single, so I’ve taken matters into my own hands and decided to make a Tinder. After my first date off the app, I decided to document the type of guy I went out with and it has re...
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Spooky! Third-year Bryce Smith’s Jersey Duvet Hasn’t Been Washed Since Quarter 1 Year 1!

Ghouls and witches beware! There is something much scarier creeping upon us this Halloween season.
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CALPIRG Trains New Recruits To Smell Weakness

Worried that their relentless tabling tactics and guilt-tripping lacked effectiveness, the Santa Barbara chapter of the California Public Interest Research Group (CALPIRG) has announced a new method o...
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