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Farewell from the Outgoing Nexustentialism Editor

The Nexustentialism editor from the 2017-2018 school year says goodbye to her beloved section.
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UCen Post Office Staff Think They’re Better Than You

A new hierarchy has presented itself at UCSB. Not related to Associated Students or the Office of Student Affairs, rather the University Center Post Office.
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10 Reasons Why San Nic Is so Sick I’d Suck its Dick

These were the 10 most meaningful experiences, gifts and opportunities that San Nic blessed students with during the 2017-2018 school year!
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127 minutes: This student’s arm was stuck under her Hookup’s sleeping body

Second-year Eden Whisman this week is being hailed a hero after surviving 127 grueling minutes pinned under the sleeping body of her weekend hookup.
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Anything Could Be a Sex Toy if You Try Hard Enough: UCSB Edition

It’s a well-known fact that UCSB is home to some of the kinkiest motherfuckers out there, so it’s about goddamn time we up the stakes with some good old sex toys inspired by this college!
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Why Am I the Only Person Who Cannot Find a Cocaine???

Well everyone, it’s happened again. I could not find a single cocaine to purchase this Saturday night.
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Comic: Dress Code Guide


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The #Plategate Scandal

It all started approximately three months ago when, after a joyous Sunday morning breakfast, an unidentified member of your house put a dirty plate in the, gasp, clean dish rack.
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Coffee Spill in Harold Frank Hall Befouls Five Backpacks

In a press briefing early this morning, CSO Chief, Copson Robberts, confirmed the rumors that a total of five backpacks were destroyed in an unfortunate coffee accident in Harold Frank Hall’s main l...
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Comic: #NotOneMore


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A Blind Cheap Beer Taste Test with the Daily Nexus

Need to figure out what rack to buy for your next game of beer die? The Nexus video team has you covered.
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Student Taking Grad Photos at Henley Gate Almost Gets Run Over

In a developing story, senior Jenny Lawrence almost got run over by four different cars while taking her grad photos at Henley Gate this past Monday.
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Another Trash Article by Daily Nexus Reporter

A failed high school rapper and even more unfortunate writer was sighted last week publishing articles in school newspaper The Daily Nexus.
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Wow! This Student Cleared an Entire Row by Mouth-Breathing!

Exasperated by cramped lecture hall seating comparable only to that of the economy class of a budget airline, local freshman Tyler Franklin has decided to take a stand.
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Eurasian Collared Doves Annex Entire Campus, Demand Property Rights

Sure, humans write deeds to prove property ownership, but the fact of the matter is doves can’t read.
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