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Here’s Some Irony for Ya: Deltopia Fencing Leading Cause of Injury Over Weekend

Students were greeted with an extravagant display of wire fencing throughout Isla Vista.
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Comic: Sunny


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Comic: Watching You


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‘Broke’ Sorority Girl Complains About Dues, Has Tickets to Every Festival

I am so over this hypocritical world we live in.
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Amazing! UCSB Student Claims She’s Confident Enough To Wear Low-Rise Jeans!

Readers will remember low rise jeans as the “it-jean” of the early 2000s.
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Batcave Sessions with Milk Drunk

Meet and listen to the most recent winners of the annual UCSB Battle of the Bands competition, Milk Drunk.
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CDC Deems Cats Ungrateful Social Parasites

You may have been infected by Toxoplasma gondii, a parasite that infects its host with an irrational attraction toward feline species.
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10 Things to Do if It Rains During Deltopia

Let’s just say that the future isn’t looking too bright — literally.
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Comic: Crashers


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Uh Oh! Your Upstairs Neighbor Bryan is Playing the Guitar Again!

Since diving headfirst into YouTube tutorials, Bryan has quickly expanded his repertoire.
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My Mom Reacts To My Articles

This is supposed to be a joke, right? Please tell me this is a joke.
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How to Sexile Your Parents During Spring Break

The advice you’ve all been waiting for.
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March Sadness? Pre-Tourney Regional Predictions I Thought Were Safe

Well, well, well. March Madness has once again met expectations, maybe even surpassed them following the upsets that have taken place thus far as we head into the Sweet 16. Staff writer Brandon Victor...
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Student with Poor Music Taste Suffers Ruptured Eardrums in Davidson

“I wish I had listened to my mom when I still could."
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The 10 Commandments to Get Through Finals Week

Surprise! Life isn’t perfect. I’m fucking stressed, for one.
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