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From Father: A Response to My Unwed Daughter

Beloved Daughter, It was with great concern and consternation that Mother and I met the distressing news of your being unable to find a husband whilst at university.
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Dazed and Confused: Local I.V. Woman Not Sure What To Do After Phone Dies During Sunset

Around 5:30 p.m. Saturday evening, tragedy struck the shores of Sands as local I.V. woman Margaret Rogers’s phone battery dropped dangerously low during the most ‘gramable sunset of the year. Just...
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Ask Chad: Chad Simpleton Gives Life Advice

What’s up demons, it’s ya boy Chad. Last we spoke, I was getting ready for some winter frat rushes and — big spoiler alert — I crushed it and was too cool for every single house. Literally nob...
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Class Know-It-All Won’t Let You Enjoy Things

Rude! Margaret Paige Claire Allen, first year pre-med major, has been reported by multiple students to Associated Students (A.S.) Judicial Affairs for being a class-know-it-all. While UCSB prides itse...
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In Photos: Dreamville’s Bas

This past Friday, Dreamville's very own Bas threw down a soulful, passionate, and electrifying show at Santa Barbara’s Velvet Jones, courtesy of ENT Legends.
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Plan To Leave Pregame with Friends for Party with Strangers and Terrible Music Still Good with Everyone

While enjoying a fun gathering of drinks, friendly faces and favorite tunes, everyone was still completely on board for leaving to go to a house party with sex-crazed belligerents and the world’s wo...
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Why Bus Rides Are My Favorite Part of UCSB Culture

Sure, UCSB has a lot of great features — the beach, our revered chancellor, that oatmeal they sometimes serve at Portola — but my favorite thing is the bus. There is nothing I love more than stand...
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Dear Father, The Search for a Husband is Fruitless

Dearest Father, It is with utter chagrin and sorrow that I must report back such tragic news. I write this letter to you during Winter Quarter of my third (3rd!) year of university and I have yet to f...
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2019: New Year, Same Me!

“New year, new me” proclamations were made around the world on the first of the month, but here in I.V., I have to admit, it’s been a rough start. So, to combat the possibility of failing my goa...
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In Photos | Santa Barbara Women’s March

Santa Barbara's annual Women's March took place on Jan. 19.
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Budding 21-Year-Old Entrepreneur to Drop Out and Sell Juul Pods to Underage Friends

A 3.87 GPA and multiple summer internship offers were not enough to stop third-year student Niko Teene from dropping out and pursuing financial success in selling Juul pods to his underage friends. Te...
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UCSB Associated Students Presents: Fight Night

After years of squabbling over Facebook feeds and Nexus comment boards, Associated Students is bringing its tension to the foreground with an evening of bare-knuckle pageantry.
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Do Not Go Gentle Into That Geed Night

So there have been a lot of rumors and speculation surrounding me and my sorority status. I am HERE to set the masses straight, completely on the record, and a hundred percentile truthful.
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How To Lose a Frat Guy in 10 Days

Frat guys are great … OK, maybe some of them are — jury’s out on the rest. Maybe you get lucky and actually find a decent guy with letters who treats you right, or maybe you don’t. Have you ev...
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UCSB Responds to CCS Break-in: We Would Never Give them Enough To Be Missing 10k

UC Santa Barbara’s College of Creative Studies was burglarized over winter break, according to an email sent out to all of the college’s students earlier this week. The college estimates the loss ...
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