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Pubes Still Pissed You Shaved Them, Promise Vengeance

We didn’t say it was easy being well groomed.
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Jewish Frat Boy Asks, “Is Eating Pussy Kosher for Passover?”

And Tiffany asked, “what’s Passover?”
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Comic: Feminist Greeting Cards


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Nice! This Student Didn’t Even Need to Get Laid to Do Walk of Shame

The Isla Vista Walk of Shame is upon you.
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Daddy Yang, You’re Not the Father

A paternity test revealed that Daddy Yang is in fact not her biological father.
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Campus Comment: Santa Barbara Weather Galore

This year, the UC Santa Barbara campus has been hit by myriad of weather phenomena. From ashes to heavy rain, it seems like the only thing that hasn’t fallen from the sky is hail (knock on wood)...
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Local Bros Experience the Price of Viral Fame

You know how some people use the bible as guidance in everyday life? We use Barstool Sports.
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New TA Excited to Mansplain to Female Students

Spring quarter is here and nobody is more excited than freshly minted TA Seth Jameson.
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Rodney Raccoon To Run for A.S. President, A.S. Hopefuls Are Shook

It’s time raccoons get the representation they deserve.
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In Photos: A.S. Elections 2018

This year's Associated Students election saw tears of joy and of disappointment. Relive the night below:
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Comic: NewCen


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Somewhere in Between: Banking off of Bikes

Meet Phillip Thomas: a touring-musician-turned-Isla-Vista-business-owner who wants nothing more than to sell bikes and promote bicycle safety.
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Timely Warning: Protect Our Raccoons

Warning: This article may contain material that some readers may find triggering, alarming or upsetting.
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Roommate Poops So Fast It’s Intimidating

Who the fuck does she think she is?
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Looking to Get Stressed Out? Here Are Some Natural Disasters UCSB Could Maybe Face

Murphy’s Law states, “Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.”
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