Blogs
Hey, Gauchos! We know graduation is just around the corner, and with that energy on the horizon, we at Nexustentialism would love to provide some insight into post-grad options for both graduating sen...
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In an attempt to squeeze every dollar and cent out of her tuition, second-year Penney Pinscher has taken to the sidewalks of UCSB this last weekend looking to pull a fast one on those tabling for club...
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In an email released yesterday, Chancellor Yang wrote the student body to enforce the use of footwear during Spring Insight.
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With only months until graduation, fourth-year global studies major Charlie Andrews has reportedly been experiencing a crippling panic of deciding which of his parent’s business mogul friends he sho...
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After many years of Arbor tabling, hard work and general disruption, CALPIRG has announced that they will be shutting down for good after acquiring their 100,000th student signature, enough to finally...
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‘Twas a brave, young fellow indeed who stepped out of his front door onto the streets of Isla Vista last weekend, wiping away tears and wearing a Golden State jersey in place of the usual (and prefe...
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In a completely unsurprising turn of events, third-year Anita Bath, a member of the Gaucho Tour Association, has reportedly walked backward into Hell. Walking backward, a skill that many tour leaders ...
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Due to concerns regarding the drunken rowdiness, tomfoolery and other miscellaneous shenaniganz that have come to be associated with Deltopia celebrations, the I.V. Foot Patrol declared martial law in...
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Everyone knows that Deltopia is like Christmas for cops, but instead of gifts, they’re giving out Minor In Possession (MIP) tickets. Though most noobs get an MIP for alcohol possession, we here at N...
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Holla cater-cousins! 'Tis I, L'rd Walt'r de Bolbec, coming to thee liveth from the 68 block of Del Playa f'r an occasion hath called Deltopia! I has't hath heard it is quite valorous excit'ment and yo...
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In an emergency meeting last night, Associated Students declared that Deltopia will be moved to Fortuna Lane in order to avoid the increasing police presence seen over the last couple years.
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Tragedy struck Isla Vista last week, administering a blow to the student population right in the heart of their most coveted and vital survival tool: coffee.
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Eyewitnesses have reported that Storke Tower, the proud phallic symbol of UC Santa Barbara, has – devastatingly – gone flaccid. The 175-foot-tall tower, which was first erected in front of the Uni...
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Clint used to be the guy that slipped off to the bathroom every 30 minutes or so. Clint’s parents kept asking him where all his money went and why he needed to pick up extra shifts at Albertsons. Cl...
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In an effort to save money at the direct and immediate expense of student wellbeing, Student Health Services is pleased to announce that they have replaced all physicians and trained medical professio...
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“dusty rusty crusty musty ass california hills”
“frowning in plaid (haunted radios, bird bones + anthropomorphized wind)”
“warming my hands on bridges i’ve burnt”
“songs that make me see god”
“My Playlist #236”
“classy wine moment and intellectual conversation”
“90s heroin chic model off duty”
“tweet tweet bird emoji map emoji”
“not my circus, not my monkeys”
“a grave is probably cheaper than an apartment”
“ATE THESE BITCHES LEFT NO CRUMBS / DID IT IN DESIGNER PUMPS”
