Student Taking Grad Photos at Henley Gate Almost Gets Run Over
In a developing story, senior Jenny Lawrence almost got run over by four different cars while taking her grad photos at Henley Gate this past Monday.
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Nexustentialism
It's satire, stupid.
Another Trash Article by Daily Nexus Reporter
A failed high school rapper and even more unfortunate writer was sighted last week publishing articles in school newspaper The Daily Nexus.
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Wow! This Student Cleared an Entire Row by Mouth-Breathing!
Exasperated by cramped lecture hall seating comparable only to that of the economy class of a budget airline, local freshman Tyler Franklin has decided to take a stand.
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Eurasian Collared Doves Annex Entire Campus, Demand Property Rights
Sure, humans write deeds to prove property ownership, but the fact of the matter is doves can’t read.
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The Real Vote on Divestment Was the Friends We Made Along the Way
“I know we didn't decide on anything or even discuss it, but I was stoked to get to sit next to my buddy all night,” stated one senator.
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No Shit! New Portola Will Still Give You Food Poisoning
As it turns out, new Portola is still steadfast in its unwavering commitment to fucking up your digestive system.
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Over Fortnite? Here’s a New Pastime for UCSB Students!
A new game of our daily activities and sights in Isla Vista that's designed to help you level up!
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Nexustential Crisis: How to Beer Die Bro
An exclusive look into the secret life of beer die bros from the genius journalists of Nexustentialism!
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The Truth Behind the UCen Bird
The truth behind the UCen bird is finally revealed with a shocking twist...
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Chats with Chad, Mother’s Day Edition: Are Moms Girls?
Moms. We all have them – even if you don’t have a belly button, like me.
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Couple Publicly Spooning Outside Lecture Hall Has Really Good Reason for It We Promise
It has totally strengthened our relationship.
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UC Releases Additional Statement on AFSCME 3299 Strike
The University of California has released an additional statement regarding their stance on the strike.
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Pubes Still Pissed You Shaved Them, Promise Vengeance
We didn’t say it was easy being well groomed.
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Jewish Frat Boy Asks, “Is Eating Pussy Kosher for Passover?”
And Tiffany asked, “what’s Passover?”
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