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Nexustentialism

It's satire, stupid.

Eight Halloween Candy Cocktail Combos

Halloween in college is equal parts childhood nostalgia and bad decisions. You get to do all the fun stuff you wanted to do when you were little, like stay up all night and eat as much unhealthy crap ...
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Five Penis Enlargement Techniques From Around the World

Attention Gauchos! Do you like to ride to and from school on a Harley? Do you commonly use the word ‘faggot’ to describe others on internet forums? Have you been saving your Jamba Juice tip money ...
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10 Funniest Free & For Sale Posts

No school’s Facebook group offers as much diversity in its posts as the UCSB Free & For Sale page. If you’re getting rid of an old beach cruiser, in the market for some gently used furniture o...
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The Man Behind the Toupee

Somehow, the Trump campaign has made its way into September, inexplicably polling ahead of all challengers in the Republican Party.
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Roommate Horror Stories

The leases are signed, the dorm placements are finalized and it’s the time of year where everyone still has naive optimism about the people they are living with.
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Pros and Cons of Summer Life at Home

Summer is a time for relaxation, catching up with friends from back home and relearning how to live with your parents instead of people your own age.
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What Not To Say In An Interview

This year, I was late to the summer job market because I was taking finals while all the local high schoolers were snatching up the sweetest positions.
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Presidential Profile

Get excited, people. Presidential Elections are a mere 16 months away.
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What Your Backpack Says About You

A large part of the modern student’s daily life revolves around the backpack: schlepping it to class, remembering which lecture hall you left it in, emptying it of garbage once a year, using it to t...
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A Connoisseur’s Guide to Malt Liquor

In our debt-induced destitution, even simple drinks like Pabst Blue Ribbon and Bud Light can seem to be wistful luxuries. Lucky for us, malt liquor – cheap and bottled by the 40 – offers a respite...
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Social Media Madness

I can remember it like it was yesterday. I was scrolling down my explore page on Instagram when I stumbled upon a profile that would change my life forever. The profile’s description read, “You ca...
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Senior Transformations

Four years may seem like a short period of time, but the four years spent in college tend to be the ones that fly by the fastest.
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Lyrical Wordplay or Literary Genius?

Hip-hop is kind of like a Transformer: there’s more to it than meets the eye. On the surface, it may seem like it’s all money, dro and asses being thrown in a circle, but the deeper you dig, the m...
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Cheating Tips for the Average Student

College is hard. How does anyone ever expect us to be able to balance our social lives, sleep AND good grades??
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20 Awful Party Theme Ideas

Have you ever wanted to throw a party with a theme no one has ever seen before?
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