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Nexustentialism

Just some words

He Wanted Me to Pledge CALPIRG, But I Pledged My Heart

Three years, two dogs and countless games of Gauchoball later, we’re still together and happier than we ever have been.
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Top 5 Things Every Senior has to do Before Graduating

Here is the ultimate, most amazing, super fun, totally Gaucho, UCSB bucket list for graduating seniors.
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Extravaganza Mistaken for ‘Extra’ Festival

A portion of students misinterpreted the name of “Extravaganza,” UCSB’s annual music festival, as something entirely different
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U.S. Interferes in North Carrillo Lunch

Chaos ensued last week when a local office for the U.S. Food and Drug Administration booked Carillo’s Mountainview Room for a staff meeting.
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Tinder Name Ideas for UCSB Cyclists

A double-entendre homage to UCSB’s two main activities: dating and cycling.
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Break in Review: Frat Phil Recounts Trip to Cabo

It’s your boy with the poi, your kid with the lid, your son with the concealed carry permit, Frat “Put Your Tits Where I Can See ‘Em” Philskies, dude.
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Student Crumbles in Spring Quarter, Asks Parents For Money

A UCSB student lost her pride this weekend when she finally succumbed to poverty and asked her mom to transfer some money to her bank account.
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Student Trains Homing Pigeons After Breaking iPhone

Columbidae, whose phone was broken in a bike accident, says he got the idea when he looked up from the pavement and saw a pigeon staring at him.
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Top 5 Ways to Get a Sugar Daddy

Sugar daddies are the next big lazy millennial endeavor, and here are the top five ways to get yours.
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Rapture Comes, Leaves Slow Walkers Behind

If you read this headline and it was news to you, that means one thing: You were left behind.
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Buffalo Chicken Betrayal: IV Deli Mart Swaps Fry Type

In the past few weeks, students may have noticed a slight alteration in a renowned delicacy at IV Deli Mart.
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New Cheadle Hall Renovations Are Something to A-Door

Through a series of collaborative efforts spearheaded by a small committee composed of C.A.P.S. and other various campus faculty, Cheadle Hall was recently renovated as part of the campus’s new When...
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Guess what, It’s Gonna Be MAY

To celebrate the coming of May, we remember the great hits of the mascots of the month, *NSYNC.
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Fledgling Beach Cruiser Gang Terrorizes Campus

Recent police reports suggest that a new biker gang, known formally as The Bitchin’ Beach Crewsuirs, has started to infiltrate the various bike racks of UCSB’s campus.
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Fraternity Rituals Explained with Frat Phil

Out of the supreme zesty-ness of my heart, I’ve decided to share some of my hazing methods and rituals.
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