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Nexustentialism

Student Crumbles in Spring Quarter, Asks Parents For Money

A UCSB student lost her pride this weekend when she finally succumbed to poverty and asked her mom to transfer some money to her bank account.
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Student Trains Homing Pigeons After Breaking iPhone

Columbidae, whose phone was broken in a bike accident, says he got the idea when he looked up from the pavement and saw a pigeon staring at him.
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Top 5 Ways to Get a Sugar Daddy

Sugar daddies are the next big lazy millennial endeavor, and here are the top five ways to get yours.
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Rapture Comes, Leaves Slow Walkers Behind

If you read this headline and it was news to you, that means one thing: You were left behind.
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Buffalo Chicken Betrayal: IV Deli Mart Swaps Fry Type

In the past few weeks, students may have noticed a slight alteration in a renowned delicacy at IV Deli Mart.
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New Cheadle Hall Renovations Are Something to A-Door

Through a series of collaborative efforts spearheaded by a small committee composed of C.A.P.S. and other various campus faculty, Cheadle Hall was recently renovated as part of the campus’s new When...
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Guess what, It’s Gonna Be MAY

To celebrate the coming of May, we remember the great hits of the mascots of the month, *NSYNC.
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Fledgling Beach Cruiser Gang Terrorizes Campus

Recent police reports suggest that a new biker gang, known formally as The Bitchin’ Beach Crewsuirs, has started to infiltrate the various bike racks of UCSB’s campus.
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Fraternity Rituals Explained with Frat Phil

Out of the supreme zesty-ness of my heart, I’ve decided to share some of my hazing methods and rituals.
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Film Studies TA Offers Extra Office Hours to Discuss New Zelda Game

The start of the new Spring Quarter brought about the usual chaos of students changing sections, crashing classes and purchasing textbooks. In an effort to combat this recurring calamity, Film Studies...
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When Your Roommate Leaves for the Weekend: Expectation versus Reality

In college, having a room to yourself is a rare and treasured occurrence. Often, however, the reality doesn’t live up to your glorious weekend plans.
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Ask Eggbert: Advice for Incoming Freshmen

In this installment, Eggbert will answer the burning, itchy questions of committed incoming UCSB freshmen as well as prospective students!
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Top 7 Household Items to Use as Back-Up Condoms

You reach for your nightstand, open the drawer and BAM: no rubbers.
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Frat Boy Creates 8th Day of Week to Spend More Time with ‘The Boys’

Traditionally, only Saturdays have been for the boys, but now, more and more days are being consumed by this ritual.
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Literal River of Alcohol Runs Through DP During Deltopia

This year’s alcohol-infused festivities included the creation of a lazy liquor river through the crowded street.
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