×
Menu

Nexustentialism

We’re not okay

Looking to Get Stressed Out? Here Are Some Natural Disasters UCSB Could Maybe Face

Murphy’s Law states, “Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.”
read more

I Don’t Know What Chancellor Yang Does Exactly and at This Point I’m Too Afraid to Ask

Am I comparing Chancellor Yang to McDonald’s? Yes. I love McDonald’s.
read more

University to Replace C.A.P.S. with New Subway

This week the university announced plans to eliminate Counseling & Psychological Services (C.A.P.S.) and replace it with a new Subway. “We have made the executive decision that three Subways in ...
read more

Fratastrophe: The Diary of Bidless Chad

It happened, I didn’t get into a frat, again.
read more

Here’s Some Irony for Ya: Deltopia Fencing Leading Cause of Injury Over Weekend

Students were greeted with an extravagant display of wire fencing throughout Isla Vista.
read more

‘Broke’ Sorority Girl Complains About Dues, Has Tickets to Every Festival

I am so over this hypocritical world we live in.
read more

Amazing! UCSB Student Claims She’s Confident Enough To Wear Low-Rise Jeans!

Readers will remember low rise jeans as the “it-jean” of the early 2000s.
read more

CDC Deems Cats Ungrateful Social Parasites

You may have been infected by Toxoplasma gondii, a parasite that infects its host with an irrational attraction toward feline species.
read more

10 Things to Do if It Rains During Deltopia

Let’s just say that the future isn’t looking too bright — literally.
read more

Uh Oh! Your Upstairs Neighbor Bryan is Playing the Guitar Again!

Since diving headfirst into YouTube tutorials, Bryan has quickly expanded his repertoire.
read more

My Mom Reacts To My Articles

This is supposed to be a joke, right? Please tell me this is a joke.
read more

How to Sexile Your Parents During Spring Break

The advice you’ve all been waiting for.
read more

Student with Poor Music Taste Suffers Ruptured Eardrums in Davidson

“I wish I had listened to my mom when I still could."
read more

The 10 Commandments to Get Through Finals Week

Surprise! Life isn’t perfect. I’m fucking stressed, for one.
read more

Student Puts Juul Pods Above Blue Books, Fails Finals

He doesn't regret his choice.
read more