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Freshman Still Circling Roundabout 3 Weeks Later

“Eh, I think I’ll just take a couple more laps to be safe, those bikers really come out of nowhere.”
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Left or Right, Get Hammered Tonight: A Presidential Debate Drinking Game

If global warming isn't real, neither is alcohol poisoning.
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New Triple Occupancy Dorms Literally Just Tents on Chem Lawn

New dorms built to compensate for an influx of new admits promise an experience unlike any other for the incoming freshmen.
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Broke Students Say ‘F*$& $500 GA passes,’ Hold Libchella on Davidson Lawn

"I can’t event tell the difference between Libchella and the real thing when scrolling through my Instagram feed."
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Dementor Invasion Results in Unusual I.V. Weather

Rain, fog and evil spirits bring a new meaning to Dead Week.
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The Official Drunchies Drunkenness Scale

The only reason you remember getting Freebs is because you saw your nachos again the next morning.
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El Niño Survival Guide

As the Santa Barbara winter approaches and the much anticipated El Niño pours down on our perfect little beach city, we must prepare for something that most Californians don’t have very much expe...
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