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Home » Entries posted by Matt Renner (Page 5)
Stories written by Matt Renner

I.V.F.P. Officer Bummed Students Never Invite Him to Parties

As a police officer, I am sworn to protect and serve the community. And, although I am a professional who wouldn’t let anything get in the way of my duty,…

Fraternity Dog Looking to Settle Down, Try His Paw at Love

Fraternity Dog Looking to Settle Down, Try His Paw at Love

Let me start by saying that I am the house dog and a proud member of the Pi Omega Omega Pi fraternity. I love all my brothers and I know…

UCSB Volleyball Team Raises Money Selling DNA to Aryan Brotherhood

Statewide budget cuts have put pressure on almost every department of UCSB. Even our most successful sports programs have recently found themselves strapped for cash. But, by a stroke of…

Lagoon “Very Impressed” With Length and Girth of Storke Tower

Lagoon “Very Impressed” With Length and Girth of Storke Tower

Sources have confirmed that the Lagoon and Storke Tower “hooked up” for the first time this past Saturday night. The two were seen canoodling outside a party at their mutual…

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