So What Did You Say?

June 3, 2004 by

"I faced the facts: I am a 21-year-old male - the worst demographic to rent to, bar none. We are dirty, we get drunk and break stuff, we don't even own vacuums and the only time our apartments are cle...
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Enjoy the Silence

May 27, 2004 by

Just because the films are silent doesn't mean that this year's Reel Loud Film Festival won't make a lot of noise. The 13th annual Reel Loud roars into Campbell Hall on Friday.
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The Artful Dodger: Our Asses Are Taking Over the World

May 25, 2004 by

We've become our own asses, people. Being called an "ass" is nothing new for me. Back when I knew it as the "a-word," it was one of the first obscenities I had ever learned. When someone's acting fool...
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The Artful Dodger: Denial of Academic Excellence Should Leave Students Nonplussed

May 11, 2004 by

Back in first grade or maybe even kindergarten, I learned the mathematical significance of the plus sign. That little cross somehow meant more, like when 1 + 1 meant a little more than one, or when 1 ...
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Drew Says,

April 29, 2004 by

When they cloned Dolly the lamb, I wasn't impressed. My dad's from New Zealand. I've seen sheep. They're pretty much the same - hooves, wool, pea-sized brain. I hear now they've cloned more animals, l...
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Battle over Spilled Blood

April 22, 2004 by

Tokyo, Japan: Uma Thurman slices through throngs of Yakuza, severing heads and literally painting the room red. Jerusalem, about 2,000 years earlier: Jesus Christ shakes in agony as Roman soldiers pou...
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Kill Bill Vol. 2 | Here Comes the Bride, Again

April 15, 2004 by

If nothing else, "Kill Bill" delivers what its title promises - Bill dies. His killer, the straw-haired gladiatrix known as the Bride, walks away, finally free of the wrath that drives her quest for r...
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The Artful Dodger: Leno Earns Big Bucks While Others Take It on the Chin

March 31, 2004 by

TV reminds me that the world is unjust. Everyday I watch the news and hear from Mr. Newsie Newsman that innocents die in terrorist attacks, that the financial chasm between the rich and the poor widen...
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Jesus’ Savior

March 4, 2004 by

If you don't like a Jesus movie, does that mean you'll go to hell? As a product of the penguin house - that's Catholic school to you heathens - a new movie about the big J.C. perked my interest.
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The Artful Dodger: An Ugly Presidential Race

February 26, 2004 by

Will America elect an ugly president? I know it sounds like a silly question. A scan over a gallery of our nation's past leaders will reveal a host of presidents whom the American public clearly did n...
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The Coral | Magic and Medicine | Columbia

February 19, 2004 by

It wouldn't take much convincing to make some uninitiated music fan believe that the Coral was one of the best bands of the late '60s. Their sound, you could say, captured the essence of Britain's tra...
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The Artful Dodger: First the Flowers Bleed, Then You Spread Your Seed

February 12, 2004 by

Whenever people consider the victims of Valentine's Day, they either think of the boneheaded - those who blow their paychecks on pink and red foolery like those chalky conversation hearts - or the soc...
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The Artful Dodger: Stupid Thoughts While Pondering the Essence of Idiocy

February 3, 2004 by

It has come to my attention that some of you are stupid - that is, the slow, the dense, the willfully ignorant, the ones who just don't get it. I think we can all agree that the university, an institu...
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Welcome to Jack-O-Land

January 22, 2004 by

How about Michael Jackson, fallen superstar, purported kiddiediddler and the 21st century's incarnation of the boogeyman? I think that about nails it.
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He Said, She Said: Leave the Heavy Make-up for Bozo the Clown, Okay?

January 13, 2004 by

Painted ladies of Isla Vista, douse your Jackson Pollock faces in turpentine. I'm here to liberate you out from beneath your layers of makeup.
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