If you're reading this, I apologize - you're probably not at the beach. In fact, you're probably stuck in class, drowning in a stormy sea of boredom, desperately floundering for a brief gasp of entert...
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It's an indisputable fact that the UCSB campus is one of the most spectacular college campuses in the history of mankind. That's a given.
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I want it gone. It's outdated, it's worthless and it jumped the shark 10 years ago. It's small and brown and it's not a midget UPS driver. Ladies and gentlemen, I, David Fuad, being of sound mind and ...
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As my four years here at college draw to a close and I prepare to enter the rarified world of UCSB alumni, I can't help but wonder about my legacy after I leave.
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I've recently started playing the classic board game Monopoly again. I was struck by an idea: The Monopoly board is a fitting metaphor for my time here at Santa Barbara. There are four sides on the bo...
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I have an exciting new invention I want to tell you all about. I guarantee it will revolutionize the way you clean and the way you drink beer. Do I have your attention? I thought so. For too long, the...
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Anyone who has stepped on campus recently must have noticed the insane amount of construction in progress. Everywhere you turn, there's another gigantic hole in the ground, or the steel skeleton of s...
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Ah, back-to-school season. Before college, going to back to school was the worst time of year. It meant the end of warm, lazy days spent doing nothing at the beach.
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This is an open letter to anyone who has partied at our house this year. Everyone else in I.V. who has had a rager at their place, you'll probably understand.
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I'm writing this column to bring to your attention global warming, world peace and solving hunger. Just kidding - fuck that boring shit! I'm writing to complain about an issue bigger than all three of...
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As a house of 12 guys on oceanside DP, we're frequently front and center as the helpless victims/neutral spectators/chronic instigators of the relentless debauchery that is DP. We knew what we were ge...
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"+"
“dusty rusty crusty musty ass california hills”
“frowning in plaid (haunted radios, bird bones + anthropomorphized wind)”
“warming my hands on bridges i’ve burnt”
“songs that make me see god”
“My Playlist #236”
“classy wine moment and intellectual conversation”
“90s heroin chic model off duty”
“tweet tweet bird emoji map emoji”
“not my circus, not my monkeys”
“a grave is probably cheaper than an apartment”
“ATE THESE BITCHES LEFT NO CRUMBS / DID IT IN DESIGNER PUMPS”
