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America Revisits the Cold War

Right now Washington D.C. Republicans are so crazy with power that the capillaries have begun bursting in their retinas.
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Insight on Former KAMAP Painter Oldfield

When Deputy District Attorney Allan Kaplan settled with KAMAP for $60,000, Dave Oldfield said he felt robbed and cheated of justice.
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One Dumb Kid Sends Whole Country in Uproar Over “Jackass”

Jason Lind should be receiving his nomination for the Darwin Award as he fights infection and struggles for life in the Boston Shriner's Hospital burn ward.
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Film Review: “On the Road With Duke Ellington”

There's something about mastication that makes legends not so legendary.
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Power Solutions

The quickest way out of California's energy crisis is to turn on every single electrical device in the state.
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Man – God’s Big Joke: A Student’s Struggle to Cope With Daily Life

SALT LAKE CITY - "Plane Crash Kills 9 Returning From Skydiving Trip" It's the kind of perverse and macabre headline Norm MacDonald could've used on "Saturday Night Live," except No...
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Waging War in Washington – A UCSB Student’s Application for United States Drug Czar

Let me begin my application for United States Drug Czar by saying that these are dark, dark days, Mr. Bush, and you know it.
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‘Generation Z’ Goes Up in Flames, Begs for More

"Never mind the gibberish of Mystics & Astrologers, this is the Generation that was born into the Richest Economy in the history of the world. They were born rich & Powerful, the certifiable Aris...
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A.S. Directory Blunder Amounts to Monkey Work

Ignore the bumbling fools in Austin and Tennessee for a sec and pay attention to UCSB. Trust me, there are bumbling fools locally to make fun of, and they are wasting your money as we speak.
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What I.V. Needs Is a Good Flushing

The Low Down - In an ideal scenario, a monster 8.3 earthquake would roar out of a dormant fault line in the Santa Barbara Channel and reduce Isla Vista to rubble.
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Fame and Leering in L.A.

6:55 p.m. Dear God! If four stoners could ever leave on time for anything the world would stop turning, the universe's expansion would come to a screeching halt.
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