We all know that one couple that’s consistently off and on. The guy frequently likes other girls’ pictures on Instagram and the girl keeps getting fucking pissed.
Despite the evident toxicity of their relationship, the guy stays with the girl because it’s marginally easier than swiping through Tinder all day, and the girl stays with the guy because he gives her a false sense of superiority over the single girls of I.V. — and because he gives her consistent dick.
“My friends all hate her,” one such guy said when asked about the status of his relationship, “but she has a fat ass so I think I love her.”
Through all of this, the girl’s sorority sisters routinely comment “mom and dad!!!” on all her Instagram pictures featuring her beloved boyfriend, unknowingly providing the only taste of stability that the relationship would ever experience.
However, this comment should not be taken lightly. Behind every “mom and dad” comment is the painstaking process of choosing between “mom and dad” or the other tempting options including (but not limited to) three flame emojis, “literally how are you real” and “ugh STUNNING.”
“They’re perfect for each other”, the girl’s little gushed beneath a photo with upwards of 300 likes. She then expands on the flattering Instagram comment: “He always picks her up and drops her off from his house on 68-block when they hook up, and he only fucks girls outside of her pledge class when they’re broken up!”
And to think women complain that chivalry is dead! I mean really, what more could a girl ask for?
Tess Karls leaves the best Instagram comments on her friend’s photos.