Karen Lindell / Daily Nexus

This past Wednesday, fourth-year global studies major Roger Rodgers was seen sobbing on the fourth floor of the library. When approached by a concerned fellow student, Roger just kept crying and was pretty much inconsolable.

“I was like, dude, calm down, it’s not even week three,” the student who approached Roger said.

When questioned, Rodgers stated through heavy tears, “My professor really had the audacity to give me a midterm this week. Like, really? Summer just ended. It’s like, calm down, y’know? I didn’t know college was gonna be this hard.”

The global studies professor, who wishes to remain anonymous, stated, “Yes, I know midterm implies it’s going to be in the middle of the term. I just straight up don’t give a fuck.”

Many professors across all departments seem to have followed this professor’s preferred method of teaching. “I spent eight years getting my Ph.D. just to fuck with the students. I can pretty much do whatever I want,” another professor, who has five midterms and two finals, stated.

With many students in this situation, Chancellor Yang has imparted a few words of encouragement in an email sent Friday morning. The email reads, “Stop being pussies, lmfao.”

If you, or anyone you know, is feeling the pressure of an early midterm szn, you can call C.A.P.S at (805)  893- 4411.

Christina is dreading midterm szn and is vastly underprepared for it.